Advice from the Green Room

Gary Menke

2009-06-21T06:38:00.001-07:00

Should I quit my job now that I’m doing stand-up?

Here’s my advice for anyone wanting to do stand-up comedy: don’t quit your day job and declare yourself a comic. You are an idiot that quit a job that paid money to take a job that’s inconsistent. (Menke recommends finding a job that allows you to do stand-up freely.)

You know you’re a comic when…

You’re working three weeks out of four every month. Don’t declare yourself a comic before you can totally support yourself doing comedy. You have to have a lot of pans in the fire. Do whatever it takes to be in show business.

How much stage time do we need? How do we get it?

When I started out, I’d do 7 sets a night. I’d go up between bands…poetry…open mics…karaoke…that’s how you get strong. Stage time…some people need more, some people need less.

What are some good ways to promote yourself?

You gotta have all the stuff:

Facebook, MySpace, YouTube
Website
A recording device (to tape every show and review the jokes)
Video tape every other show (you could garner more laughs just by changing a facial expression)
Everyone needs a poster (11X17 is recommended, as it’s the standard size of any comedy club photocopy machine).
Print up tickets
Establish relationships
Get sponsorships (Businesses such as car and phone companies may lend you their products if you’re willing to represent their brands.)

How do clubs decide to book someone?

You judge draw vs. comedy vs. what that project desires—clean, dirty, whatever—are we going to make money? Is the person that’s paying me this money going to be satisfied?

I know everyone who’s funny. There’s no secret. There’s no underground guy who’s like killing America who’s sooo funny that no one knows about. There’s no such person. We know who’s funny. There are some young, upcoming guys. If they are up and coming they only have 7 minutes and they can’t do anything for you anyway.

Will people pass you on your way up?

[Yes.] It’s not fair, it’s not honest--It’s show business. As long as you don’t compare yourself to other people or think it’s a competition, you’ll always be in the game.

As a promoter and comic, what’s your best advice?

Be yourself. Be fun. Dress accordingly. Look better than 50% of the crowd. Shorts are a no-no. Have fun. Be confident. Take a risk or two. Be fearless. Audiences can smell fear a mile away. I’ve seen people with horrible material who are so confident they trick audiences into laughing at them.

John Rathbone

2009-06-21T06:37:00.001-07:00

In the past 26 years, John Rathbone has performed nearly 6,000 comedy shows. More than a million people have seen him live. His travels have taken him from New York City to California; from Alaska to the Caribbean. He has been hired to entertain for Fortune 500 giants, including: AT&T, General Electric, Honda, Philip Morris, Procter & Gamble, and The American Heart Association.

How do you build a name for corporate gigs?

Corporate work is great work. A lot of it is word of mouth, so you can build your name that way. You need a clean show. You need to be comfortable in a corporate setting. Some comics want to be able to say whatever they want, but if you’re in a corporate setting, you can’t. You have to work within the parameters of what they want you to do.

Do you research the companies before a corporate gig?

No. I do my show that I always do. There are different kinds of corporate comics. Some will tailor their acts, [but] you really can’t write very much material in a short amount of time. I stick to my act, typically a half hour to an hour. Sometimes it’s just 20 minutes.

How do you negotiate the fees? Do you have an agent?

I use agents. I use different agents that do corporate work. It’s more expensive to hire me as a corporate comic. Basically I work the clubs now just to keep sharp. This is where I practice, and the corporate shows are where I do all the things you need to do. Consequently, they pay me a lot more.

What advice do you have for an up and comer—especially someone who’s interested in corporate?

If you want to do corporate work, you have to be appropriate for corporate settings.

Get the wardrobe. You have to look nice (nice suits, etc.). Make sure your show is very clean. Then just start putting yourself out there to agents. Just say this is the kind of work I’d like to do…eventually you’ll get referrals and experience.

What kind of clips do you choose for your website?

I have a firm that specializes in that kind of work. They’re professionals. I think the money is well spent on having a professional website—not your buddy. [Hire] somebody with real graphic experience and real computer experience. A lot of my clients go to the web and look at each of these choices. My website sells me. It’s geared for the corporate client. It’s not a funny site…it’s all informative.

You try and present an image…for corporate clients you have to be pretty conservative.

How do you keep it corporate clean?

I’ve always been clean. I’ve had to make my act dirtier for the clubs. When I got started, if you wanted to be the emcee or the middle act, you had to be clean. Now that’s changed, [but] I recommend everybody be clean. You can always make it dirtier. You can’t take dirty material and make it clean.

I stay away from topical…political…anything that smacks of a timely reference…I don’t like to throw that into my act because three months down the road the joke is no good anymore. I like to write a line that I can say over and over and over for 25 years. Those are the lines that I’m striving for. That way the material is able to serve me for a long time.

What advice have you received that’s been most helpful?

The best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten is have fun onstage. If you’re not having fun, it’s very tough for your audience to have fun. Being a comic is a scary thing, but if you don’t go up and have fun, you’re making your job a lot harder. If you go up and have fun, the audience will follow you generally.

It seems easy…it looks effortless, but there are a lot of things that go into making it seem that way. It’s a very complicated process, you just kind of have to come across [techniques]. Have fun.

How do you keep it fresh?

I interact with the crowd. I have to pretend like I’m having a good time, and almost always I am actually. Keeping it fresh is my job; if I can’t keep it fresh, at least make it fresh to the audience or go get another job.

Is it important to stay away from polarizing subjects such as politics and religion?

I have my own personal politics, but you’re basically preaching to the crowd [with] whatever opinion you have to say. Half the people are going to agree with you and like you, and then half the people are going to disagree with you and not like you. I’m a comic, I’m not a social scientist, and even the social scientists—their opinion is just their opinion. I’m not trying to tell people what’s right and how to live their lives and how they should think. I really dislike political comics. Whatever, you’re so much smarter than me. Please tell me how to think.

I feel that when people come to my show, they’re going to laugh, and I’m not going to burden them with my little petty issues. I don’t take my issues up on stage. I got divorced the first time…they always say write about what you know. I thought maybe it would be cathartic to write about this and take it on stage. I wrote some stuff, and it wasn’t too bitter or angry—I thought. I realized people weren’t interested. They want to laugh. They don’t want it too real. It’s supposed to be a good time. It’s not a sociology lecture.

Everybody has their opinions—valid or not. Comedy is about having fun, and politics is about whining and complaining for the most part.

Sometimes you do get groups that are very uniform, especially in corporate. At a comedy club you’re going to get people of all different strides, but when you do a corporate show [they may have similar opinions].

What are the differences between corporate and stand-up shows?

The corporate world is different from the stand-up world. [At the club] we have a beautiful stage, fantastic lights, perfect sound…when you go do a corporate show, you’re going to have bad sight lines, bad sound, and bad lights…nobody can see you or hear you. You don’t know when you’re going to go on. Everybody’s tired and wants to go home…and they’re like “Okay, now your turn!” [It’s] anything but the ideal setting.

[At the club] everything is geared to just making it perfect. [But in corporate] you have to be ready for your show not to be its best. You have to be ready for the audience to not laugh very much. Doesn’t mean they’re not enjoying themselves—it’s just a different animal and it takes some getting used to. A lot of comics do a corporate show and it’s not like their club show. They start whining about it on stage, telling the audience they’re stupid. It can just go south real quickly. You really have to be tolerant and understand what kind of role you’re going to play in their evening’s events and really be a gamer. If you have an attitude [like] “I’m an artiste!” then maybe it’s not the best place for you to be.

There are all kinds of places to work as a comedian. You don’t have to go into corporate work. I do it because it pays very well, and I feel very comfortable in corporate settings. I don’t mind putting on my Brooks Brothers suit and my fancy tie, looking nice and minding my manners and giving them the best show that I can within their parameters. Even without the sound and the lights, etc., I try and make the most of it. That’s the kind of attitude you need to have if you want to do corporate work.

Paul Farmer (AKA Freez Luv)

2009-06-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

Paul Farmer: I’ll say two things in this business. #1: Never judge where you are by other people. Because everyone’s different…you’re on your journey for yourself. You can’t compare where you are in this game to where someone else is. It’s a waste of time. We’re all going to be at different levels and doing different things. Just worry about yourself. Don’t worry about the next guy.

#2: don’t ever take anything personal…this is a business where you get told NO a lot and you cannot take it personally. You can’t let someone tell you NO today and say OKAY, but then harbor some dislike…that’s a future relationship. You never know who’s going to be your ally in this business. So just don’t take anything personal, and don’t judge yourself according to anyone else, and follow your dream. Do your thing, Man.

NY vs. LA

LA is for LAter

LA is great when you have a name…a place you go when people know you. That’s when you’ll get the best benefit of LA. If you’re a stand-up and you’re new in the game, and you go to LA, it’s going to be rough on you. You’re not going to get a lot of stage time. When you do get stage time, you’re around a lot of stars…they’ll take your stuff and do it on Jay Leno. They’re in the position to steal your stuff and make it count. When you’re doing a set at the Comedy Store and someone steals your set, you don’t know until you’re watching Kimmel Show…now you can’t do that set anywhere in the nation. They own it. It happens. That’s part of the business. It’s happened to me several times. We’re talking about writers…guess what? Your joke is now an episode on whatever show. They have million dollar lawyers that don’t care about you. It’s just material that’s gone.

How do you preserve material?

You can’t. It’s impossible to preserve material. The only thing you can do is have more material. You can’t get hung up on a joke…keep it in your locker, but don’t depend on it. You always have to have new material. Always. Always. Always get new material. When you’re here wherever you are that’s not like the “big leagues,” what you should be doing is taking risks. Say something [even if] you don’t know if it’s going to be funny. Do the work. The underground spectrum is for work. You have to take risks. You have to develop. You have to find out what’s funny…what’s not funny. What is funny--you keep it, put it in your locker so that when someone says your joke, that’s all right.

NY:

If you’re a new comedian, I would suggest New York. There’s just more opportunities to do stand-up. They’re going to give you a real opinion. If they laugh, you know it’s a real laugh in New York. New York is the breeding grounds for comedians. It’s a comic’s town. It’s where comics are bred. It’s where you cut your teeth, Man. We’re not talking about mainstream rooms like Caroline’s, the Comic Strip, the Improv, or the Laugh Factory… But NY also has rooms like Joe’s Deli…that’s a vital part of the NY comedy scene, especially for young comedians. Just for urban [comedy], there’s about 35 rooms in NY that go on throughout a week [from which] you can pull $100. Each one of those rooms are real, everyday, working people [who are] going to let you know if you’re funny or not. Each one of those rooms is culturally diverse, which is going to build you as a comedian as well. You have to be able to adjust. You can’t say, “Okay, I’m a comedian that only does ‘this type’ of comedy.” I don’t care if it’s in a synagogue or it’s in a chapel…I want to go there so I can get my rent money. You will develop a whole other muscle in comedy you didn’t even know you had, because you’re in a position where you have to make people laugh. You need that position in life.

How important is bombing in adapting your set?

Bombing is one of the best medicines for a stand-up. It’s nasty…it tastes horrible…you grit your teeth and suck it up. Bombing is necessary for comedians because you learn a lot of things. One thing you’ll learn from bombing is what I call “Laugh Ear.” You go out and you kill every week and every time you say a joke…you wait for that laughter. Joke—punchline—laughter. One day you’re going to throw the punchline—and there’s not going to be the laughter. It’s not necessarily that you weren’t funny. You have them in the palm of your hand, but because they didn’t laugh—now you’re worried about the next thing you say. It’s a spiral downward. Don’t develop a “Laugh Ear.” You start to panic. Forget the audience. The audience changes every set. There’s never two audiences alike—never. You can’t say everyone’s going to laugh at that joke—regardless of how funny it is. Don’t take it personal.

How do you know when to keep or discard a joke?

If it’s not exciting…if it’s not fun anymore…I’ve got to change up my set or something. It should be exciting to you.

There’s not one way to do this. As many different comedians as there are, that’s as many different ways as it could be done. For me, personally, I don’t like to have the exact same set every single [time]. It tends to get boring for me. When it’s boring for me, then my delivery is boring. If my delivery is boring, then the audience is going to be bored. I change it up a bit…I change the order…I change a lot of stuff. I try to keep some staple things because those are like markers.

How do you know when an audience is feeling you?

All comedy is is a direct exchange of energy. As a comedian, we kick out some energy. The audience likes it, they throw it back. It’s just back and forth…we control it. The audience doesn’t control it. It’s not their fault at anytime. Ever. Ever.

[Sometimes] audiences do suck, but who’s in control of that? Who always has the upperhand is the comedian. You got the microphone. You’re the loudest person in the room and everyone’s watching you. You have the opportunity to make it not suck. Keep that in mind: I’m running this show. Jolt ‘em. Shock ‘em. Make ‘em listen. You will change the energy. You will win them over.

Is there ever a dead set?

Yes. There’s always everything. Understand that. You gotta get out of your head that I’m going to do ABC.—and that’s going to make DEF happen. Sometimes you gotta do ALQZ. None of them have a mic. Only you. You got the power.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received from another comedian?

Honesty, Comfort, and Confidence

[It was] from Eddie Griffin, Kansas City comedian. He saw me the very first time I ever did stand-up. He said, “You got it. Right now in the game, you got it. I’m gonna let you know what you have so you can hang onto it.”

You have to have Confidence, Comfort, and Honesty.

If you handle those three things onstage, you’re going to do all right.

Honesty—when you’re honest you allow people to be able to relate to you. The quickest route to finding what people can relate to is to be honest. Be vulnerable. Be laughed at. You’re the comedian. I’m not saying be a clown, but talk about the REAL stuff that’s really funny to you. At least you were honest and put it out there.

Comfort—you have to be comfortable, because if you’re not, then the audience [isn’t] going to be comfortable.

Confidence—Confidence and being honest…they all work together.

Will you always be nervous about bombing?

I’m still nervous before every set. Butterflies? Absolutely. Every show. Every show. Every show, Man. I have butterflies on the first show…second show…I haven’t done it before to that audience…anything can happen, Man. When you bomb, that feeling lasts forever. Bombing is like your training wheels…you rarely bomb when you’re not funny. You bomb when you’re nervous. You bomb when you panic and you feel like you’ve lost control of the mic. [The audience] will still ride with you…if you’re confident and comfortable, they’re not even going to notice that you’re bombing.

Who’s in control of the bombing—the audience or the comic?

I don’t know. It’s energy. Something to disrupt that energy, the potential is right there. Always. Like the Grim Reaper, sitting on the edge of the stage, ready to take the mic out [of] your hand. But you can’t be fearful, because that’s going to show. You’ve got to be confident…if you’re confident and people see that you’re always going to win.

Sympathy pangs at every level

Eddie Murphy came to the show. Eddie said, “You know how it is if you’ve ever bombed. You know how your ears get warm?” Just the fact that Eddie Murphy can talk about something and ask me can I relate to it…I shared that with him…that’s a great feeling…that sums it up…the tiptop of comedy say something that someone who’s been doing it the first day can relate to. You feel it. That’s how important bombing is. You can’t beat yourself up.

There’s a comedian named Honest John. I saw this dude bomb time and time and time again. I’m talking YEARS. One night, I saw him do the same material…and it worked! It worked! I don’t know what happened. It might have been his confidence. He got to the point with his material where he really didn’t care whether or not you liked it. He said it with a full heart…and full confidence…and full honesty…and it clicked. That was the turning point. This guy’s a headliner now.

Does size matter?

If you can make 6 people in the room laugh, you can make 60,000 laugh. Because humor is contagious. Try to focus on 3 or 4 people. I’m not saying pick them out of the audience. You just have to have 3 imaginary people in that audience that you’re making laugh…focus on those 3.

What advice do you have for up and coming comics?

Be Grateful

Be thankful for every comedian that looks out for you. You have to understand, the majority of your work is going to from other comedians. It’s not going to come from clubs…it’s not going to come from agencies…it will come from that, but the MAJORITY of your work is going to come from another comedian. You’re doing a set when you’re not even in the room, because other comedians know you. If you’re not cool with other comedians, they can really make it hard on you. There’s no reason not to be. This is your family.

Be Friendly

Be open-minded. Be cool. Make friends. Do your thing. Don’t stab anybody in the back. If someone stabs you in the back don’t take it personally. Just take the knife out [of] your back, smile, and keep moving.

Be Gracious

Everybody has a turn. There’s no reason to be jealous of anybody. You’re wasting time. You need that time to be creating funny stuff, not to be sitting up brooding about someone else’s success. That’s their success and they earned it. If they didn’t earn it, it would not be happening. Remember that. God puts us where we’re at. Let it be. Worry about when you’re going to a spot, and when you do get the spot—what you’re going to do with it. Make it count for you. Spin it forward. Parlay!

Sidebar—“Comic Love”

No one’s going to look out for comedians like comedians. When we’re good to each other, we’re very good to each other. When we’re bad to each other, it’s terrible. There’s enough jokes for everyone.

Anyone who pursues this craft that I pursue, I truly, honestly have a special concern and care for them. I know what this is. It’s not something that you do overnight.

Jim Breuer

2009-05-02T09:57:00.001-07:00

A stand-up comedian since his high school days at Valley Stream Central High School in Valley Stream, New York, Jim Breuer worked in comedy clubs around the country for several years before deciding to become a regular on the New York comedy club circuit.

After being in New York for only seven months, he landed a gig on the nationally syndicated show, "Uptown Comedy Club," where he spent two seasons.

In 1995, Jim joined NBC's "Saturday Night Live," becoming best known for his original character "Goat Boy" and his impression of actor Joe Pesci. After a four-year stint on "SNL," Jim starred in the movie "Half Baked "alongside Dave Chappelle.

Advice from the Green Room: What's the best advice you've ever received from another comic?

Jim Breuer: Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER worry about what another comedian thinks of YOU. Because YOU are not there to entertain a COMEDIAN. You're there to entertain PEOPLE. So some of your peers I would never worry about.

Advice from the Green Room: What's the best advice you have for us?

Jim Breuer: Find your voice. Look all over...under the bed...in the drawers. Find your voice and work your voice.

Tammy Pescatelli

2008-02-09T05:11:00.000-08:00

Comedienne/Actress Tammy Pescatelli is a three-time Addie Award winner and two-time Cleo nominee. She's performed in comedy clubs all over the USA and is arguably one of the hardest working women in comedy today. Tammy has appeared as featured comic on television shows like "Evening at the Improv" and "Court of Common Sense," and was recently named winner of the "Bud Light Ladies of Laughter" Competition.

Advice from the Green Room: How did you figure, 'This is what I want to do?'

Tammy Pescatelli: I always loved stand-up. I mean, I was crazy about stand-up comedy. I remember being a kid I had every Eddie Murphy tape that came out. I had to sneak to buy them because I wasn't allowed to listen to that kind of language in my house. And I had to sneak it and listen to it in the closet. When I was 18 I got a fake ID. And all of my friends would sneak into dance clubs and I would go to comedy clubs. It never dawned on me that I could be a comedian because I didn't see women that I could related to. Not that there weren't women that were funny. Roseanne. Ellen. Rita Rudner. But none of them were young, or they were talking about their husbands or their kids. Ellen probably wasn't that much older than me - probably only 7 or 8 years - but no one I could relate to. One day I went to a comedy club with my brother. I had just graduated from college. There was this female emcee. She wasn't that good and I told my brother, 'I could do that'. He said, "I'll bet you 50 dollars. There's an open mic night.” So I went home, and I practiced. I did my open mic night and the next week I did it again and they gave me the radio show.

I still didn't know I could do it professionally until I saw Kathleen Madigan. She's really the reason. At that time I was 20 I think she was 24. And she was rolling with the boys, and telling jokes. And even though I'm a girl, I have a great father and brother and I didn't want to male-bash. I didn't want to talk about menstrual cycles. That's what the women were talking about. I wanted to talk about stuff I found funny. And when I saw Kathleen she just rolled and I thought, 'That's what i want to do'. That's how I tried to write my act from that point on...

Advice from the Green Room: What was some of the best advice you've received?

Tammy Pescatelli: One female comic told me to 'go home.' That was the best advice I got because I wanted to shove it in her face. Women have been the worst to me in this business. Some have been the best, and some have been the worst. I was so excited to see her. She was a headliner. She said, "You just graduated with a degree in fashion design?" I said, 'yeah.' She said, “Well that's what you should do. You should go home and do that.” C'mon. I've only been doing comedy six months. What do you want?

Some of the best advice I got was silly things. Brett Butler told me, "Never sleep with a comic." and that was the best advice because [comedy] is a boy's club. People would think that if i slept with them, and I made it, then people would think I slept my way there.

Don't drinks out of the coffee mugs in hotels because the cleaning ladies wipe the toilets, then they wipe the mugs with the same towel. Mark Curry told me this, and Bill Cosby told him this: Don't let cleaning ladies in your hotels because they think that you're rich because you're a comedian - even when you're not making any money. And they will likely take stuff because they think you're rich and you can replace it.

Festivals

Montreal changed my career. Out of Montreal I found an agent and a manager and really made my presence known in comedy because I had just been a road comic working, working, working. I had just moved to LA a year before so no one really knew me. So it was really good and for me it made a great start to the industry.

Material Girl

Try anything. Try everything. There are only so many thoughts in the world. And we're looking at the third generation of stand-up comedians. You have to figure out who you are. Ultimately, if you think I’m funny or if you think I’m not funny - what ever the case may be - I finish my show and people leave the room. And if someone came up to them and said, "What do you think Tammy Pescatelli thinks of this?" they should know. Because my opinion should be that strong - and hopefully make them laugh in between.

Write something that's so uniquely personal to you. There are going to be some things that are typical, but you can know when people steal because all you have to do is listen to their act. "Does that stuff blend with their other material?" If you write something unique to you, you're less likely to have it lifted by someone else.

I had a joke stolen and they did it on the Tonight Show. Years later I told Jay Leno about it. He told me 'someone is going to steal your stuff. But you're a comedian, you'll write another.' The good news was, I now already had a joke that was on the Tonight Show! Now all I needed to do was write about 17 more Tonight Show-worthy jokes. I could do it. By happenstance, my first TV appearance was the Tonight Show.

Friendly Competition

The beauty of comedy is that when other comics are doing well, it only helps you. Who cares if they laugh at Larry The Cable Guy or Dane Cook? Maybe it will make them want to come to a show and see you?

Raphie May

2008-02-08T16:31:00.000-08:00

Veteran comedian Ralphie May’s popularity exploded after the success of the first season of NBC’s hit reality series, “Last Comic Standing”. Long-time fans of Ralphie’s stand-up were joined by countless new fans when America thought he was robbed of the winner’s title. Despite the show’s outcome, Ralphie’s special brand of comedy combines the familiar elements of hip-hop and topical comedy with a dash of southern down-home flavor and quick wit making Ralphie May one of the most popular comedians in the country. His first DVD, appropriately titled “Just Correct,” went PLATINUM! Released on February 10th of 2004 by Melee Entertainment, a division of DreamWorks, the collection has been described as “fresh and very, very funny.” The DVD also includes footage of his USO Tour to Iraq where he could be seen swimming in Saddam Hussein’s pool.

Raw Material

"How do you get material?" People always ask me that because I write about 2 and a half new hours of material every year. It's easy. You play a game with yourself every time you go on stage. Every new joke is 5 points. Every new tag line is 2 points. Rearranging your material is 1 point. Try to get a minimum of 10 points per show. When I do a headline set, I’ll average anywhere from 60-70 points.

New joke

Write one new joke every time you perform - a joke being anywhere from 8 to 12 seconds depending on if it's fast or slow. You do five of those and you have a new minute. At that rate, you'll have an hour of great material in a year.

Tag line

Two points for a new tag line. No joke is ever finished. Young comics always mess up and make a mistake of not finishing their comedy. They'll get it to where it gets a laugh and then they'll go on to the next joke. A joke is never done. All these jokes are like rubber bands. You can expand them much further than you think. They'll always hold a lot more. Every joke is like a deck of cards. You hold the two end cards together and you have all the other cards in between. They make up quite a bit of space, but they're all individual pieces. If you couldn't think of a whole new 'deck', meaning a new joke or premise, you can add more cards to this deck and make it bigger, and bigger, and bigger. You can get it to where your bits are 12 to 15 minutes long. That's what I do. If I can't out write them on creativity, I’ll drown them in every angle that a joke can have. Every angle.

Be personal

Tell your stories. You want to make sure nobody steals from you? Then don't do anything that anyone else can talk about. Talk about personal instances. Include your personal stuff into it. And don’t' say, 'this is a true story.' No one ever believes anyone who says 'this is a true story' to start off with. But if you add more personal stuff to it, whether it's true or not is immaterial as long as it's funny. That's all that matters. But to make it more believable, and to act like it really happened you'll have to add more minor details instead of just glossing over it.

Short and sweet

Plus, take all your jokes and write them out on a piece of paper. Write it just as you would say it. Then go back through and eliminate every unnecessary word. That's how you tighten your material. You take out every unnecessary word. The spoken word is much shorter that the written word. And yet when comics write out material, they'll write it all out so it makes perfect sense and they'll remember it phonetically. But they don't have to do that. It can be shortened. Example, in my act I talk about playing cards in an old poker room with old dead people. There was a dead person at my table. And everyone else says, ‘No. He's got a 'poker face' and I say, "No. He dead.” Not 'he IS dead' or "he's dead". I shortened it to 'He dead'. I shortened the words to get the punch.

The funny bone is connected to the...

Have you ever been talking to someone and they're trying to tell you a story and they start cracking up at the story because they know how the story goes? And you find yourself smiling, and nodding along with him? And you're ready to explode too? That same thing you can do on stage. But you can't do that unless you build a personal connection with the audience. You can build that up. You can get huge laughs off of a setup by looking at people and engaging them and smiling. Also when you're delivering your material, pan to the side of the room but always deliver your punch lines to the front.

Rock the mic

Know where the mic is and don't let it become an obstruction. If you want to take it out of the mic stand, fine. Move the stand over and get it out of your way. Don't put it in the front of the stage where it can be a hindrance or block any body's view. If you're going to just talk and leave it in the stand, move your hands. Don't be boring.

Voice

Don't be monotone. The old comedy adage: Louder is always funny. Now, just because it's loud doesn't mean it's funny. But if it's funny quiet, then it will kill if you add some volume to it.

Silent But Deadly

One of the most important things that young comics do is that they're afraid of silence. Silence is a wonderful tool. If used properly, silence can double your laughs per minute. Use it. It adds an air of confidence. How do you use it? Before you do the punch line to a joke, if you pause you'll get a laugh at the anticipation of the punch line. And when you hit the punch line, you'll get another laugh. So you just doubled your laughs off that one joke. You can do that throughout your own act and up your laughs-per-minute. Just by implementing it off the bat, you can up your laughs-per-minute 30-40%.

Also, everybody thinks they have to have a segue. You don't have to have a segue. It's just been ingrained in us and it's been something we've been told we had to have a smooth transition - to make it seem conversational, like it's one long story. But it's not. If you want to switch topics, stop. Pause. Then switch topics. That's all you have to do. You don't have to add all these other words. Using silence there instead of 'Uh, um, speaking of' will greatly increase your productivity (in terms of laughs per minute), increase your believability as an entertainer, and the your confidence. Even if you don't have the confidence, just not being afraid is a huge, huge thing. And who cares if they haven't gotten to the joke yet. They'll get there. They'll come with you there. Just wait, and trust in your material. Use silence. Trust me. It'll work.

Zero-drink minimum

Don't drink at the club - ever. And I know you're thinking, "Aww, dude! It's free drinks!" I know. Here’s what happens. You’re cool. You’re having your two drinks, three drinks per show. The manager at the end of the week will be doing the books and will see your comp sheet. And it's inevitable that even thought the beer costs him 50 cents apiece, and he sells them for 6 dollars of whatever they sell them for. He won't see that fact that 28 beers basically cost him only 14 dollars. He'll see the fact that he lost 168 dollars that he lost. And he looks at your food tab a sees what that cost him. And they get 'pissy'. He doesn't see what he put in; he just sees what they could have gotten. And what that does it means that you cost him more money. That means if you're a feature act and you're trying to make headway in this industry and you're sending your 'avails' out. He's a businessman. He knows that he has budgeted for 7 shows, 600 dollars. But between your food and your drinks the last time you were here, you rang up an extra 250 dollars. So now you're costing him not 600 but 850. Over a month, that’s 1000 dollars. Over a year that's 12000 dollars that he's got to pay for comics that drink. They see that as a payment, they see that as telemarketing, and a month of radio that generates tickets. Giving beers to comics doesn't generate anything. You know what that means? That means you lost work! You lost work to the guy that didn't drink, ate sandwiches, didn't try to be a big shot and buy girl's drinks or anything like this. He's going to get the work over you. And you're sitting at home another week getting your beatings from your family. When are you going to pay your bills? When are you going to pay your rent? Your landlord won't take, "Hey. I wrote a great new dick joke" for rent. You have to treat it as a business. It's show 'business'.

It's just business

When you do get a gig do you send avails? At the end of the week when you're getting paid, do you talk to that person about more availability? And what do I need to do to get more work out of you? What can I help you with? How can I make it easier on you? What can I do better next time? Ask!

Be a good businessperson. If they're giving you your first feature gig in an A-room, at the end of the week write a thank-you card. People love it when you hand-write something. To me, it's so much easier to handwrite something and mail it than it is to email something. It takes you five minutes and it makes such a difference and people’s reaction to you as a person, as somebody that wants to get booked. The only time comedy is competitive is getting the actual work. There's only 52 weeks in a year. If you want to fill up your date book and do this professionally, you have to give yourself every advantage. And never give them something they can take away from you or they can have over you. If someone says you're too 'blue', you clean it up. If they still say you're 'too blue', you thank them at the end of the week and you leave and you don't throw a fit about it. If you can't clean it up then you shouldn't have been in that position anyway. And if they didn't know about it then shame on them for booking you without knowing. But don't take it personal.

Michael Somerville

2007-06-04T05:02:00.000-07:00

Michael Somerville tried stand-up comedy on a dare while a student at the University of Notre Dame. Upon graduation, he moved to New York City and took a job in advertising but, when his neck became irritated from shaving every day, retired to pursue a career in entertainment. Michael’s good-natured humor and sharp improvisational skills appeal to audiences of all demographics. He has appeared as a panelist on VH1’s "100 Most Wanted Bodies" and is lined up to appear on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend” and the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal. He also appears in several national commercials and was recently featured in an NBC piece about the life of a stand-up comic. An accomplished actor, Michael just finished a successful run in the Off-Broadway hit "Who Killed Woody Allen?".

Nice to meet you

AGR: What is your technique for opening a show?

Michael Somerville: Picture your comedy show as just like meeting someone at a party. You walk up and introduce yourself . What's the first thing you're going to say? Probably something innocuous and something friendly, like, "Hey, what's your name? What do you do? What are you about?" I'm getting to know you and you're getting to know me. So when you come out, it's your introduction. You're meeting someone at a party. But what you don't want to do, in my opinion, is to get on stage and take anything about yourself that you may you want to point out and ask the audience to laugh 'at you' right out of the gates. You wouldn't walk up to someone and say, "Hey. I'm a big girl..." That forces us to laugh at you without knowing you.

Making it OK

Michael Somerville: There was a guy I was working with who had no arms and no legs. It was the most amazing thing I’ve seen in my life. He takes a wheelchair up to the stage. He has to throw himself from the wheelchair to the stage then prop himself onto a chair. He props himself onto a table they have set up for him and then he's able to talk into the microphone. This whole process takes easily four minutes, which is an eternity in stage time. The audience is uncomfortable, they don't know what's happening and they see this. Right away they tense up. And it's just human nature to think, "Uh, oh. What are we going to get into here?" The place is just on edge, "Where do we look? What do we do?" Literally, you've never seen anything like this. No arms, no legs, just a torso. The guy finally gets himself up to the microphone and - the most brilliant opening I've seen in my entire life - says, "So, I used to chew my nails." The tension, and the build-up - the place just erupted! It makes everyone feel good about themselves. Everyone has already thought a bunch of things. Everyone wants it to be 'OK'. Everyone wants him to be funny. Everyone wants to like him. There are so many things going in people's minds that your job as a comic is to get up there is to make it OK.

Clean up in aisle four

AGR: I wrote something down that you said during your set: "Don't be dirty. Be clean and be smart. That's what I'm trying to do as a comic."

Michael Somerville: I believe that is so difficult, but it's so much more worth it to be clever and clean. It's the most rewarding for you and the audience to be smart and funny. I don't need dirty language to be funny. Blue humor is easy. Don't get me wrong. I love dirty jokes if they're smart. We have some people in this industry who think "f*ck" is a punchline. The good news is that if you're clean you separate yourself.

AGR: I can tell by your material that you're a 'writer'. You can tell the difference between someone who is just riffing and hanging out and someone who values the written word and the creative genius that it takes to write. What's your writing ritual?

Michael Somerville: I wish I had one. I wish I had a routine but it's never the same. I try to write regularly but there is no consistency to my approach. As with any comedian, I will make a note of it on a napkin, or mentally, or a voice mail. "That was funny. I need to talk about that. " Sometimes I'll sit at the computer and try to bang out a thousand jokes about a topic and have nothing and then one day I'll be walking down the street and it'll just pop into my mind. The joke will just be there; it will just fix itself. Sometimes it's three months later.

I used to be a big proponent of writing to perfection before bringing it to the stage. The audience is paying and I owed it them to bring something that is a finished product - and I like that approach. But now I’m trying to marry the idea of writing on stage. I'll have a good idea - and sometimes if you're in the moment and talking to someone in a bar, a party, or wherever you’ll say things - your synapses are firing and you’re 'on'; you’ll just say things. I'm now recognizing the value of putting things on stage that are not done. I was so afraid of doing that. I tried to do that tonight. I tried a few new things. I thought it would put myself in a corner and try to find a way out. I thought, "Oh, boy. What am I going to say now? How am I going to fix it?" and sometimes you'll find the answer right there on stage.

I do try to discipline myself to do something funny or write something funny every day because I do believe we have a couple of fresh ideas in us everyday and if we don't embrace them that day then they're gone. That day is finished. You'll never be able to get that day back. And what you might said may not have been genius, may not have been that funny. Ten minutes of brainstorming or trying to write something funny may not have led to anything on that particular day but it may have been the foundation for a later day where you are going to find something. I have a horrible guilt if on any day ,I don't try to access it. If I write a bunch of crap one day I like it. I feel it gets me that much closer to the good jokes. Who was it? Steve Martin who said, "Ten percent of what I write is even worthy of TRYING on stage." Ten percent! So great. Let's write a bunch of crap and get it out of the way, then, thank God, another gem.

Taking the Stage

Michael Somerville: Stage time is essential. The 900 questions you have when you start comedy can be answered just by getting on stage. When I started I wanted to do 100 hours and then assess. 100 hours is lot of show - 5 minutes here, open mic, there, a college. 100 hours and then I can take stock and say, "Where am I?" And when I did that all the stuff I worried about when I first started went away. If you're on stage a lot - every night - you get bored of your stuff and you start to push yourself. I know it's hard to get stage time but it's the absolute answer.

To: Comics
From: Michael

AGR: What’s the best advice you’ve received from another comic that has helped you in your career?

Michael Somerville: I overheard someone say, "Do karaoke". The reason is not to become a great stand-up, but to overcome your fear of performing - particularly if you're not a good singer. Because you can't help but fail. If your a beginning comedian, crank out a bunch of songs and pick songs you can't sing but 'bring it!' You are standing on a stage with a mic and failing and that's comedy. But it's kind of a 'halfway house' .

Another great advice is to take improvisation classes. As comics we have scripts. We write down our jokes, and we know what we're going to say. To do improv was the most naked feeling you have on stage because you’re standing there with no scripts. Yeah, you're standing there with a few other people but they don't know what they're going to say either. I was a fairly seasoned comedian before I took my first improv class and I was terrified. People said, "Oh but you’re so funny." That's because I know what I'm gong to say. It's a set-up/punch. This is unprepared.

AGR: What advice would you like to leave with us?

Michael Somerville: If you're interested in being a comedian - just do it. I think everyone should to it once. There'd be fewer hecklers. If you're terrified or your deathly afraid - find a class. Some people just want to get it out of their system. They just want to try it and never do it again. Get stage time. Comedy is something you have to do a lot to get good at it.

As a comic you can't worry too much about what everyone else is doing. You want to be aware of what they're doing so you can be original and creative. But from there you just want to push yourself to be the best that you can be.

James Johann

2007-05-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

In 1991, James Johann began his stand-up career in Kansas City. His youthful appearance, self-deprecating sense of humor, and high-energy style all come together to create a unique on-stage persona.

In July 2004, James performed in the "New Faces Of Comedy" category at the Montreal Just For Laughs Comedy Festival and was featured on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend in 2005.

James headlines comedy clubs nationwide, including the 2003 Paying For The New Trailer theater tour starring Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy. From 2005 to 2007, James also was part of The Slackers Tour, a national tour from one of the producers of The Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

James Johann

Gettin' Inspired

Advice from the Green Room: Who is your comedic inspiration?

James Johann: My taste in comedy is as varied as my taste in music. Whereas I have Billie Holiday next to Slayer in my music collection, I have Bill Hicks next to Steve Martin next to Pigmeat Markham next to Stanhope. This is not to say that I am a die-hard fan of any of these people, but I think it's important to expose yourself to all kinds of styles--especially early on. Also, anything my family does is inherently funny to me. For better or worse, many of my comedic heroes are related to me.

In the Beginning

AGR: How long have you been doing this? How did you get started?

James Johann: I started in 1992 or so. I couldn't find a job I could tolerate after high school and one day my mom said, "Well, you think you're so goddamned funny, why don't you go down to the comedy club and find out?" The rest, as they say, is history.

AGR: What joke got you your first "big laugh?" (Do you still use it?)

James Johann: I honestly can't remember, but yeah, I probably still do it.

Makin' It

AGR: How long did it take you to get to headlining status? Describe the journey.

James Johann: It took quite a long time to get to headline. Many years. How did I get there? Sleeping at truck stops and rest areas. Often eating an Almond Joy and an orange Shasta for dinner. Sleeping on condo floors that were stickier than a 2-year-old hands. Making phone calls 4 days a week to club owners who were in perpetual "meetings." Shouting jokes over clacking pool tables and beeping dart machines. Riding in a van to a godforsaken college in Maine, smelling some other comics stinkin-ass feet and listening to their bad music for 1400 miles. Being awakened by overzealous maids for 12 years. Washing my hair with bar soap. But, of course, still digging it enough not to quit.

Bookin' It

AGR: How did you get the gig with Larry the Cable Guy?

James Johann: I had worked with Larry about 4 times back when he was still working comedy clubs. Colleen Quinn, who manages the Omaha Funny Bone, always put me on as Larry's opener at her club. I'm sure this was an intentional move on her behalf because she has an innate sense of what works well. Even back then there were lines around the corner of the club of people waiting to get in and the club would be adding extra shows. It was easy to see that Larry was getting ready to pop. One night after the last show, he came up to me and said, "You do a good job every time I work with you." He gave me the number of his management company. He said "call these guys." I imagine he put in a word or two for me, because they picked me up about two weeks later and I've been with them ever since. That's how it happened.

AGR: How did you get the set on Premium Blend?

James Johann: I sent a tape like everybody else.

Get it "Write!"

AGR: What's your (daily) writing routine? (ritual)

James Johann: I'm not sure if getting drunk and scrawling smart-ass comments on bar napkins is a ritualistic writing activity, but that's how I do it. Usually. Yeah, I've sat and stared at a blinking cursor before for 3 fruitless hours wondering, "What's funny about a ...tree?" But that method just doesn't work for me. I'm usually in a social setting, or shootin' the shit with my brother and I just say something that I know will work on stage. A lot of my comedy also comes from personal experience--stuff you can't really "write" because it has to happen to you. Once it happens you can embellish and exaggerate. But I feel it's a more organic way of writing. It usually rings true, and it's fairly honest.

AGR: How do you choose the opening joke? Closing joke?

James Johann: It's my belief that an opening joke should be quick to get a laugh. The sooner you make an audience feel that you're at least capable of making them laugh, the better shot you have at keeping the laughs coming. Now I know there are 1000 different opinions in this area. I'm just pointing out what works for me. I also feel that the closing joke is almost secondary to the build up to it. There is a rhythm to a good set, usually. After the checks are paid and the focus of the crowd has returned, you have a short amount of time to build to that final climax. The joke itself should be something strong, but I feel the timing and the build leading up to it is equally as important.

Stage Persona

AGR: Describe your comedic style. What makes you unique?

James Johann: I'm very self-deprecating and I don't like going too terribly long without a good solid laugh-line. I envy certain comics who can use silence to their comedic advantage, but frankly, it scares the shit out of me. I write some things that are generally too mean or preachy for my act, and usually I choose to leave that material out. That's of course a personal choice which I am duly chastised for by certain elite know-it-alls. But as of today, I almost instinctively know what should be in and what should be out of the act.

AGR: How and when did you find your voice?

James Johann: When I finally got the guts to pull the veil back a little on who I really am. Not 100% there yet, but working on it.

Stage Business

AGR: How do you handle a heckler?

James Johann: A shotgun would be nice. Actually, I've found that hecklers only seem to come in two varieties. The first of which is the heckler who is being somewhat playful and good spirited about it, and even though he or she may be annoying and interruptive, a good comic can use someone like this to his or her advantage. The second kind of heckler is the mean-spirited (usually drunken) heckler who is hell-bent on jacking up your show by yelling the most incoherent and obnoxious crap his beer-soaked brain can conjure up. A good comic can also use this to his advantage - but its important not to jump on any heckler too quickly. If the crowd isn't as fed up with the heckler as you are, you can come off looking like the asshole for tearing into them too soon.

AGR: What techniques do you use to get the crowd back (after a dud opening act, bad joke, etc.)
How important is it to work clean? When is "blue" okay?

James Johann: If things aren't going well in your set for whatever reason, I feel it's always good to acknowledge that it isn't. When the laughs aren't good or you're getting crickets on every line, I think it only makes it worse to keep pushing forward and ignoring the fact. Even a quick and subtle acknowledgement that you realize its not going well usually helps to bring the crowd back around to your side. Or you could just say "Screw you people, you don't know funny!" throw the microphone down and walk offstage. Its up to you. As far as blue material is concerned, I say do whatever you find funny. If "blue" works for you, do it.

Workin' It

AGR: What advice do you have for an up and coming comic?

James Johann: There is always the obligatory answer of writing everyday and getting on stage as much as possible - which is actually very good advice, but let's get down to brass tacks here. We all gotta eat. Perhaps more practical advice would be to learn how to say "no" to certain things when the time is appropriate. By this I mean that there comes a time in your personal comedic development when you have to stand up for yourself as a performer. It is important to keep in mind that it is the job of the club booker to get the best talent he/she can for the smallest price. When you're in the beginning stages of comedy--sure--whore yourself out a little. Drive 300 miles for 40 bucks and a ham sandwich. Do a string of one-nighters where you spend more on gas and candy bars than you earn for 9 shows. It's ok. You're young and hungry and working cheap is forgivable. But 3 years later, when you're act is honed and your confidence is high, quit driving to Duluth, Minnesota or Brownsville, Texas to work a Holiday Inn lounge for chump change - it's just pathetic. As soon as you begin to say "no" to certain types of work, your schedule will probably dry up. Mine did. But once you take a stand and say to bookers - "Hey, I'm not an emcee anymore!" or "Hey, I no longer wish to hump it across nine states in my Toyota Corolla with bad brakes and one windshield wiper for $250.00!" You have to stick to your guns. In time, people will realize that you are indeed worth more money or more time or both. But also be wise in knowing when that time is right. Just because you can go onstage and talk for 30-45 minutes doesn't necessarily mean you should automatically get a bigger check and a better spot. Be honest with yourself about the quality of show you are selling. Get what you're worth, but don't push it. Aside from that, when on the road, it's cheaper to go to the grocery store once than McDonald's 15 times.

AGR: How important is "who you know?"

James Johann: Knowing people never hurts. But constant name-dropping gets annoying. Comedy, like anything else, can rely a lot on your personality and how easy or difficult you are to work with. Making contacts and establishing good relationships can help you along the way. Then once you're a big, rich, super comedy star--you can be a prick to everybody. Gotta love show-biz.

Elliott Threatt

2007-05-13T06:48:00.000-07:00

26 year veteran Elliott Threatt has appeared on shows such as A&E Comedy on the road, Showtime, Comedy Club Network and HBO's Comic Relief! He has toured musical concerts with famed stars Patti LaBelle to George Jones. He most recently won the HBO U.S.Comedy Art Open Award in Kansas City.

His early comedy partners included Sinbad, Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson and the late Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison. After college he moved to Los Angeles and began show casing the Improvisation and Comedy Store. He was a regular and house EMCEE at the famed Ice House in Pasadena. At the age of 22 Elliott became a national touring headliner. He was runner up for Ellen Degeneres in the Showtime's Funniest in America Contest.

Elliott first released CD, "Biscuits Made From Scratch and Other Funny Stuff," was nominated for a Grammy.

Elliott Threatt, Andrea Caspari, Brad Meehan

Advice from the Green Room: What have you been up to?

Elliott Threatt: I’ve been doing a lot more corporate gigs. They’re becoming increasingly easier because I’m much older. When I was 25 I was doing a lot of risqué material. Now I’m 44 years old. My mind set is different and I don’t have to do much editing.

AGR: How do you get into corporate gigs? It seems to be pretty lucrative.

Elliott Threatt: It’s tough. The way to get in there is to market. I know guys that are ‘okay’ comedians but make thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars doing corporate gigs. They make a lot of money but they really have to work it, though. You do one, you get a reference letter from them that says, ‘I did a great job at Sprint.’ Then you turn that into a 'Hallmark' or wherever. It’s a business. It’s not like a comedy club, though. You have to adhere to their rules. They’re paying a lot more money. They’re paying you more than you’d make in a week in a club. A comedy club might pay you $1000 a week. Corporate gig pays you $2000 in a night.

AGR: For how long? An hour?

Elliott Threatt: An hour? Not even that long. I’ve never done a corporate gig for an hour. It’s too long. It’s more like 35 – 45 minutes. At corporate gigs, they have stuff to do. It’s not like they’re just hanging out trying to get laid or something like that. You’re on between the motivational speaker and the break-out session so it’s shorter.

AGR: How important is it then to work clean?

Elliott Threatt: It’s pretty important - if you want to make more money. That’s the bottom line. If you just want to work the comedy clubs, do whatever you want.

The reality is, Eddie Griffin works really dirty but he’s not going to get the $100,000 gigs from GM like Frank Caliendo. Or he’s not going to get the $75,000 - $80,000 that Cerner pays Jay Leno when he comes to town. That’s where you want to be. You have to ask yourself: would you rather make the money in a big hunk? Or would you rather drive around to comedy clubs or theaters or whatever venue your name supports?

AGR: So it sounds more lucrative to try to write clean.

Elliott Threatt: If you think clean, you’ll write clean.

If I could do it all over...

Elliott Threatt: I admire these guys that drive hours to come do a spot. But if I were them, I’d do it a bit differently. I’d start my own little comedy nights at a bar and not adhere to the other guys structure. What’s the difference between doing it free here or free somewhere else? You don’t have to deal with the arrogance that people can pull off locally because they have some of their comic friends laughing at the back of the room. No one has ever been made famous by just making their comic friends in the back of the room laugh.

Stepping Stones

AGR: How has the Internet and MySpace changed everything?

Elliott Threatt: It’s huge, but it’s already been done. Dane Cook already took that to the n-th degree - him and Jim Gaffigan. It’s probably something different now. The guys that are on the radio shows like Bob and Tom, or Tom Joiner, or Steve Harvey seem to do very well. They have a passionate following. Also, Comedy Central is very powerful.

But, I don’t think one thing is going to do it. It's 'one thing leads to another thing leads to another thing.' They’re stepping-stones. It’s like ‘Frogger’. If you stand there too long, something is going to overtake you.

Charm School

AGR: How was your set last night? I heard you did well.

Elliott Threatt: It was weird. I had to work at them.

AGR: How did you do it?

Elliott Threatt: I just talked to them a bit more. My favorite part of comedy is ad-lib. I like working the crowd. As long as it involves people – you need to pull them in. If someone is kind of waning, you pull them back into the story. When you talk to someone in their group that will normally bring in the entire group.

Walk the Walk

AGR: What advices have your received that has helped you?

Elliott Threatt: Frank Ajaye told me, “Always walk around on stage because people’s eyes tend to get bored. The bigger the stage, the more you walk around.” You take up space because you want attention. You can’t just stand still. Even if you’re not doing anything. Make their eyes follow you. If you stand still people are going to get bored. You’re a school teacher at that point.

Also, I never make fun of the crowd. I don’t pick on them. They didn’t do anything wrong. I hate when comics get down on them and do all that other kind of stuff.

Find your niche

AGR: What would you leave us with today? What would Elliott Threatt like to leave up-and-coming comics?

Elliott Threatt: Develop a niche. You need to find it. I’m not a white guy, but if you’re just another normal white guy, you’ve got nothing to attract a following unless you’re ‘Seinfeld’ funny. And in reality, most folks aren’t Seinfeld funny. The people who do well, they find that active niche. For the black folks, it’s the Def Jam. The country, it’s the Blue Collar. There’s the lesbian, gay, Hispanic. Anyway you can try to branch yourself.

In for the long haul

AGR: What creates longevity in comedy?

Elliott Threatt: Being a good writer. That creates longevity - the words. But only as long as the words make up who you are.

Eric Schwartz

2007-04-23T04:02:00.000-07:00

Stop me if you’ve heard this one...

A comedian, a rapper, and a DJ walk into a club.

He puts on an amazing show.

Eric Schwartz (AKA Smooth-E) is so much talent wrapped into one explosive package. A quiet, humble man in person, Schwartz lets it fly when he hits the stage. He incorporates original songs, freestyle rapping, and dancing into his stand-up act. Schwartz is playful and fun—downright goofy at times—as he encourages the audience to dance and sing along.

Andrea Caspari and Eric Schwartz

Since DJing at 14 in his hometown of Thousand Oaks, Calif., Schwartz has come a long way. As an intern for a local radio station, he began writing comedy bits and playing with characters and voices for the legendary radio personality Dick Whittington, then moved on to playing dorm rooms for his friends and cruise ship talent shows with his family. In college he placed 2nd in the comedy competition, “Funniest Person in the Valley.” Since then, Schwartz has been featured on the Tonight Show, Showtime, and he’s currently the most watched comedian on MySpace with over 4 million views.

Eric Schwartz AKA "Smooth-E"

But it’s all in a day’s work, “Your best promotion is your show. The best promotion is the showcase of your (talents)…you’re an artist.”

After treating Stanford and Sons’ manager/comedian Michael Gomez, feature act Dustin Kaufman, and this emcee for a late-night bite at Denny’s, I trapped the fatigued comedian in my car to find out what advice he had for up and comers:

Gaining Momentum

AGR: What is propelling your career right now?

Eric Schwartz: It’s definitely got a lot to do with the Internet. I think more people know about me and have seen me online than have seen me live. The Internet has been amazing.

The first viral video that I had was an accident, a song called “Hanukkah Hey Ya.” (a parody of the Outkast song, “Hey Ya.”) Some kid decided he wanted to practice his flash animation skills. He just tucked it away in a dark corner of his website in a file list where nobody could really find it. But somebody did, and they started forwarding around the link. It got huge…millions of people saw it. Back then, there wasn’t as much content on the Web. It was making headlines…not only in the U.S. That was when I was like, ‘Wow. The power of [the Internet] is so great.’ That was the first one that broke huge (Winter 2004). (The next video, “Matzah” was animated by popular animation team Jib Jab) It went on the Tonight Show and got more millions of views.

AGR: How do [videos] gain popularity on the Internet?

Eric Schwartz: MySpace has become fans of my stuff. They know my stuff now just because I keep doing it and doing it. Pretty soon people latch onto you…they like what you do…that’s all that is. They’re waiting to receive it. They want to share it with their friends. That’s the cool thing about creative projects--people want to share them because it gives them a good feeling.

AGR: How do you get that talent out there?

Eric Schwartz: This is the basis of how [to] succeed in show business: Just put out a good product. That is the main thing…it has to start with a good product. Just keep doing videos and just learn from them. You don’t have to release all of them. Just do ‘em, even for an exercise.

AGR: What is the best tool for promotion?

Eric Schwartz: The best-selling tool that I have ever had is a good show.

Whether it’s on the Web or it’s onstage, when you have something that people like they’re going to tell other people. The club’s going to want to book you more. [They’re] going to want to feature you. It brings them people, which is what they want.

Write! Write! Write!

AGR: Is it more about ideas or just sitting down to write?

Eric Schwartz: I write every morning as soon as I get up. I try to write everyday. I do like three pages everyday [without stopping]…jokes [come] a lot of times just in conversation…that’s a great way…you know it works…or a situation happens…or you just notice something…

Schwartz recommends “The Artist’s Way,” by Julia Cameron. It’s a 12-week workbook that has helped his writing goals tremendously.

Focus on Yourself

AGR: Does it matter what everyone else is doing?

Eric Schwartz: Carlos Mencia told me something once. He said, “People are going to pass you on the way up and on the way down and it doesn’t matter. You just have to be focused on what you’re doing.” What does it matter what somebody else is doing? It doesn’t matter. We [spend time] comparing ourselves…it’s human nature…but if you really think about it…nothing that anybody else does really affects you. I see comedians do it all that time, “That person is stealing my joke!” or “I can’t do my dating joke because that person just did it!” But it’s all in your imagination! There’s a way you can do it because you’re a different person. Whatever circumstances you have in any given room...it’s like a puzzle. There’s a way to figure it out. I don’t think it’s ever impossible to figure it out. I’ve seen people tank when they didn’t need to tank, or do well when nobody expected them to.

Do Your Own Thing

AGR: What was a turning point in your stage performance?

Eric Schwartz: I [had] never mixed my comedy with my music…I’ve always had that show inside me…I thought to myself, “What would be the most fun I could have in my show?” That’s what I do now. I want to have a show where not only people are laughing, but they’re like grooving along with the music…it’s like a party…my show is almost like I am DJing but I’m doing comedy.

I want to keep surprising people. I love doing it! When I’m up there it’s just like so much fun. I’d rather do stand-up than [go to clubs]. I’m working and I’m getting paid to do it. It’s like the best! Just don’t feel limited with what you can do for stand-up. I think we build it up to be more difficult than it really is.

AGR: Is there a formula?

Eric Schwartz: No…everything’s going to work differently for different people…

My best times of success have been when I’m focused on putting out a good show.

The way to get ahead is to get your writing ahead and your performing ahead.

Live Your Dream

AGR: What advice do you have for up and coming comics?

Eric Schwartz: Don’t listen to comedians…listen to yourself the most. There’s a lot of stuff that people will tell you about what comedy is and isn’t…how you should be, but you know that you got into comedy to do a certain thing. Whatever that is, explore that. That is the dream that you’ve had. Go after that, and not somebody else’s dream.

The most important thing is to just do a good show. Do your job. The main thing that a lot of times we lose sight of is to be a comedian. It will get you so much further than getting friends on MySpace. I want to be a good comedian first. I don’t want to be a comedian who’s good at MySpace. Use it as the spreader of good work. Don’t spread yourself and not have anything to offer. People will advertise it for you.

Henry Welch

2007-04-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

Do You...

Comedian Henry Welch took the stage at the Kansas City Improv April 17, 2007. Now hailing from Atlanta, GA, Welch had to follow 6 local comedians and win over the fatigued crowd. He did so with deft wit and by punctuating his jokes with unique phrases, such as, “Y’all ain’t ready for me!” Welch got his start in Birmingham, AL, where he began comedy in 1987. He began his full-time career in 1994, and now travels around the country each week, entertaining crowds in various cities such as Miami, Richmond, Cincinnati, Columbus, and Baltimore. This was Welch’s first time back to Kansas City since he performed about 6 years ago for a New Years party. Friendly and accommodating, Welch and I sat down in the Green Room so I could find out how he manages to energize new crowds yet remain so clean. (Inside tip: he performs as if the women in his family are in the audience!)

Henry Welch

New Kid in Town

Advice from the Green Room: How do you know how to get the crowd on your side when you’re new to the city?

Henry Welch: I try to do little clever stuff. It was a good crowd and I appreciated them.

My stuff is crazy in a unique and different way. I’m not intimidated. I like to be a little intelligent and have a lot of fun.

AGR: How do you prepare for a show in a different city?

Henry Welch: I read two different newspapers everyday so I know what’s going on in these cities. [I say], “I need to remember that when I get there.”

You want to make the people feel like they’re a part of it, too. You don’t want to come to these towns and make [them] think you’re better than the people. You want to make the people come and embrace you.

Clean Sweep

AGR: How important is it to be clean?

Henry Welch: You don’t have to be that dirty. Sometimes they think because it’s a black crowd we want to hear the N-word. They don’t want to hear that either. You don’t want to be like that.

I work churches and colleges and everywhere. I learned if I can be clean I can go anywhere.

It’s easy to be dirty--it’s hard to be clean…and I take that challenge. As a Black comedian they have that stigma—just nasty and raunchy—[but] I’m a very intelligent guy.

AGR: What’s your writing technique?

Henry Welch: I just read something and I can see the headline and I just take it from there. I used to write down a lot of stuff but now I’m at the point where I decided to keep it in my head because comics can’t steal it in my head.

AGR: How do you stay fresh and on your game?

Henry Welch: As a kid I used to read at my grandmother’s house…current events…

As a comic I feel like you’ve got to know what’s going on everyday. A lot of comics [are] stuck where they’re at. [No one] wants to book them because [they’re] cutting the same jokes.

As a comic, you’ve got to prove yourself every night. What I did tonight [doesn’t] mean [anything] tomorrow. To me being a comic is like being a porno star or boxer. You’ve got to come up with the work. They’re going to be expecting you to do the knock out…they expect you to be funny. It’s the most humbling experience.

AGR: Where do you get your work ethic?

Henry Welch: I’ve got the old school mentality. I come from the era where you had to take 5 to 6 years to learn how to be a comedian. But some people have been doing comedy for two weeks and then they got thrown on BET—now you can’t tell them that. Some people got the break and what do they do with it?

You want longevity. I set the example. If you’re a headliner you’ve got to be able to follow whatever comes in front of you.

AGR: What advice do you have for an up and coming comic?

Henry Welch: You need to know that you’ve got to keep doing your stuff. When people tell you, “Don’t talk about this, don’t talk about that,” in so many words [they’re] telling you, “Don’t be funny in front of me.”

You’ve got to listen and do what you think is best. You’re a comic. You want to be funny. You want to do your best stuff.

A lot of times people think they’re giving you good advice, and they’re not.

Do "you". Always do you.

Do you. For real. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Do you.

Darren Carter

2007-04-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

I first heard Darren Carter on the now defunct All Comedy Radio station. I had no idea what he looked like, but I had a picture in my head from the descriptions of himself in his jokes. He looked exactly like I imagined. He had such a silly style that had me laughing out loud in the car. When I heard he was coming to Kansas City, I had to meet him.

Darren Carter, the Party Starter.

Darren Carter

I met up with Darren before he took the stage at Stanford's Comedy Club in Kansas City. I just got off stage after finishing my set and saw him in the Green Room talking with the club owner and Andrea Caspari. Perfect timing. I wanted to know how he prepared for a show, and particularly his technique for 'winning' over a new crowd in a new city.

Andrea Caspari, Darren Carter, Brad Meehan

Darren is great at really pumping up the crowd. He comes out to his own theme song written by Kansas City rapper "Big Fluff Nickolantern." It takes him less than two seconds to get an entire room on his side and really involves the crowd throughout entire the show - something I haven't seen to that extent. As the music blasted from the speakers, he showed that this is his party and we were all invited.

Darren Carter "The Rooster" and Big Fluff Nickolantern

Taking the Stage

AGR: What are you doing right now? How are you preparing for your set? Do you have a set list you write out?

Darren Carter: For stuff that's really important, I'll write down a set list. On the road, I have a lot of material and it's all floating around in my head - I want to be able to grab on to this joke and that joke.

AGR: When do you work out new material?

Darren Carter: I usually just throw it in the mix. Sometimes I'll even open with new material. Seinfeld said, "Never open with new material." But on that last set, I did my first two minutes and got them on my side then tried [a new bit]. And it worked. That was all new. I've probably done it less than ten times.

AGR: When do you decide if it works of if you're going to throw it away?

Darren Carter: Most of the stuff I do works. But if it doesn't I'll put it away and bring it out later. Some stuff I'll throw away. But honestly, it either works really well or it will barely work. You have to believe in it.

I look back at jokes I wrote like five years ago and I think, "That's kind of funny." Then I'll deliver it. I'll bring it out and actually do it. But because I don't believe in it anymore, I can't sell it. It used to kill for me because I used to believe in it. Like some of your stuff, the stuff that you love, it may just kill now. But then five years, ten years from now you're going to be like, "This is not my big bit anymore." But someone that saw you tonight will remember that joke. And in 2017, they'll see you and they'll [quote the joke]. Then you'll think, "I should do that joke again." And you'll do it, but if you don't believe it's funny, it won't work any more.

Be Yourself

AGR: Are you 'yourself' on stage?

Darren Carter: Yes. I'm a heightened version of myself on stage. Obviously I don't walk around 'beat-boxing' or doing weird shit like that. Sometimes I do. I'm the type of comic that likes to joke around. Some comedians when they're not performing they're quiet, they're bitter, or they're angry. But they find a away to bring comedy out of that. I'm personally not like that. I like to go for the silly. I always like making people laugh - even if it's just one person.

Just Follow the Rules

The one thing I learned early on is that there are no rules in comedy. Some guys say 'don't yell.' Well, there are guys that yell: Dane Cook, Sam Kinnison. Some guys say 'don't do sketches'. Well, guess what? The first time you audition for SNL or another sketch show they're like , "Bring in three characters and you wear costumes." Some guys say, 'Don't use props.' But look how far some of the comics can go with props. There are really no rules.

Two for One Special

AGR: What's the one thing you learned where you thought, "I wish someone would have told me that"?

Darren Carter: Try to write your jokes both clean and dirty. Don't only have the dirty version. Because when opportunities come up to get on TV or radio and they're like, "What do you got?" 'Well, I can't do that bit, or that bit...I have nothing.' You want to have two different versions.

AGR: Do you think you even need the dirty version?

Darren Carter: Dirty does get you the big laugh, but you don' want to rely on it. My dirty isn't that dirty. You don't want to do it so filthy that people are like, "Eww".

You can' tell when the crowd doesn't 'give it up' like they should because you crossed the line a little bit. It's good to get right out of it and let them trust you again. You don't want to get to a point where they don't trust you.

AGR: How do you build trust?

Darren Carter: Just be confident, likable.

Attitude of Gratitude

Darren Carter: No matter where you're at. Be in the moment and give it your all. Even it you're in some crappy gig in Idaho, or wherever. You have to have an "attitude of gratitude". Look at these country stars or rock stars who have long careers. They're out there at meet-n-greets , and they embrace the fans. Even when I'm going to do some crappy AM radio, I get up and take a shower and get pumped up. I'm like, "Yeah! I'm going to rock this show!" I never want to get to a point where I'm like, "F*ck this. This means nothing. Who's listening anyway?"

On Advice

Darren Carter: Don't always listen to other comics all the time. This advice they're giving you - some of it's good, but some of it you have to weed out. Find out what's pertinent to you.

Drew Hastings

2007-04-10T09:06:00.003-07:00

Drew Hastings is a master story teller and an even better interview. His 18+ years of experience provided so much insight into the various stages a comic must go through to reach that final stage, which he described as simply, 'the truth'.

"Great comedy comes from pain," he said. "What you most don't want people to know about you - your biggest fear - is the kind of stuff you should be talking about on stage..."

The truth.

Did you know I'm afraid of public restrooms? Neither did the 300+ people at Friday's show... until I told them. The truth. Baby steps.

Drew Hastings

Side note: 70's porn star Seka was in the audience that night.

Crowds

The second show Friday night was a smaller crowd. Compared to the first show you really had to work for the laugh.

Drew: The smaller crowd is, the more it let's you deal with being 'you'.

AGR: Are there 'bad' crowds?

Drew: I think that's a very dangerous place to go to ever start blaming the crowds. If you do that, then it's very easy to look over your own shortcomings and what you're doing.

AGR: Even if the material killed in the first show?

Drew: It doesn't matter. It's only good material if it kills 99.99% of the time.

AGR: How do you judge if it's really working? If at the first show every joke is getting applause and at the second show, the same jokes are getting little 'ha ha ha's'? How do you judge the material?

Drew: If it's a small crowd and they're drunk, or it's a small crowd and they're tired from working or whatever, then 'ha ha ha' may be the equivalent of 'killing' in the first show.

Adaptation

We discussed how audiences have evolved over the years.

AGR: How have you changed your act over the years to adapt to audiences?

Drew: I've tried not to. Woody Allen once said, "Don't go looking for your audience. Do what you do and let your audience find you." It's a longer journey that way.

Evolution

There's a lineage to it. When you start out you just want to be funny. You want to go on stage and be funny. And then you go into another phase a year or two or three down the road and that might be the 'too hip for the room' or the 'intellectual' stage. You go through that and hopefully that's a passing stage and you get out of it because you realize that's kind of pretentious and that isn't what it's really supposed to be. And then you go through a phase where you're trying to play to the comics in the back of the room. And you get out of that because you realize there's no future or money in that. And then you go to a phase where you do what what you think how the audience perceives you and you try to live up to that. And that's wrong. And then you go through a phase where you act like what you think a stand-up should act like. In other words, you go on stage and you act like what you think a stand-up comedian in your skin should act like. And that's not right. The next phase you do you realize that ultimately you want to be yourself on stage - which is very much easier said than done. So then you act like what you think you're like on stage. But you're not being you. You're acting like what you think is being you. And that's not really quite it. And ultimately if you survive and you stick around long enough and you evolve through the grief, you become yourself on stage - tweaked, maybe exaggerated - but 'yourself' on stage. There are exceptions to that, but I think that's roughly the path.

AGR: If a comic knew that the ultimate goal is to just 'be yourself', could you skip those middle phases?

Drew: No. It's an evolution. Some people get it. Some people partially get it. Some people it takes 16, 18 years to get. Some people it takes 8.

Writing and Performance

AGR: What's more important? The words to be funny or the performance to be the funny part?

Drew: I want to say the words. I would tend to say the words but you have to have words along with the attitude, the performance, the look - everything. That's your way of 'italicizing' your personality, in a way.

Reaching out

AGR: If you could give one piece of advice to an up-and-coming comedian, what would it be?

Drew: Rick Reynolds said, "Only the truth is funny." Think about that. That makes a lot of sense. Comedy comes from pain. What you most don't want people to know about you - your biggest fear - is the kind of stuff you should be talking about on stage. It's hard to do. But once you can do that you can do anything.

Theo Von

2007-04-10T09:06:00.001-07:00

You remember Theo Von from MTV's Road Rules and Real World/Road Rules Challenges. He has been in the comedy scene for about 4 years and has had some early successes including appearances on NBC's "Last Comic Standing" and on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.

I was opening for Theo and Drew Hastings at the Improv. Andrea stopped by the club before her show on the other side of town. Theo had just hurt his back and was layed-out on the couch waiting for the Vicadin to kick in. So we just lounged around the Green Room and talked about his comedy journey.

Theo had an interesting approach to comedy. It was more of a personal goal for him to just try it, reach a certain stage in his career, then move onto something else - leaving comedy behind. At one point in the interview I asked if it was possible to just walk away from comedy...

Getting Started

AGR: How did you get started in comedy?

Theo Von: It’s just something I wanted to do. I don’t watch that many comics. I don’t like getting their thoughts stuck in my head.

AGR: How has your persona as a reality star helped in comedy?

Theo Von: I feel like in some ways [Road Rules Season 9] helped out…so, there’s nothing I can do about that. I planned on being a comic before…at least trying it…it just happened in that order.

AGR: How different are you on stage than you are in person?

Theo Von: I think I’m a lot more talkative and fun on stage than I am in real life. It’s probably a personality I would be happier being.

AGR: What’s your aim on stage?

Theo Von: I think my whole goal in the beginning of comedy was I just want to sell the idea that I’m a likable guy. That’s one of the things people always told me. That’s my goal, to have people feel like we got to kind of hang out for a little while—“We had a good time with that guy!”

Make Me Laugh

AGR: How do you create a joke?

Theo Von: Just getting up on stage. After awhile you start to know when something will kind of work or when it won’t.

AGR: How do you know what to keep and what to discard?

Theo Von: One, of course, what they laugh at. And two, what you laugh at, I'm learning. You have to keep some of that, too. Even if they don't laugh.

AGR: You keep stuff even if it doesn't make the crowd laugh?

Theo Von: Right, otherwise it gets boring. Some of the stuff you say for them but the other stuff you have to say for you.

Phone a Friend

AGR: Do you write?

Theo Von: I don't really "write". I usually just put down things I think about before I go to bed or I'll write them down when I wake up in the morning. I leave myself messages on my phone all day - like three or four a day.

AGR: Ideas or full jokes with punchlines?

Theo Von: Just ideas.

AGR: How do you hash them out?

Theo Von: I usually just throw them in as maybe a one-liner to see how they even adapt to the idea. Half I keep and try.

AGR: How important is working clean?

Theo Von: I like to try to keep jokes clean, but…I try to not write any more [wiener] jokes if I can help it…but sometimes you have to do some because people laugh at ‘em.

AGR: What advice would you give to up-and-coming comics?

Theo Von: Do your own thing. How would you ever get to new levels if you didn’t do your own thing?

Advice from the Green Room

2007-04-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I was working with comedian Robert Hawkins at the Kansas City Improv. After one of the shows he said, 'If you really want to make it big in comedy you have to get more personal with the material. Dig deep, no matter how painful the truth is. That's when the best material will come out. Then you will stand out as a comedian.'

Great advice. I think he's right. Any one can write an 'airline peanut' joke, but only I can write about my life, my experiences. "Life" is what people will relate to.

I am fortunate to work with some of the biggest names in comedy. I began to wonder what other advice these comedians could offer to up-and-coming comics like myself. So my friend, comedian Andrea Caspari, and I decided to interview these comics Gonzo-style before, during, between, and after shows asking them how they prepare, how they write, how they know what's funny and what's not funny, etc. My hope is that by reading these interviews you will find at least one piece of advice that will help take you to the next level.