Raphie May

Veteran comedian Ralphie May’s popularity exploded after the success of the first season of NBC’s hit reality series, “Last Comic Standing”. Long-time fans of Ralphie’s stand-up were joined by countless new fans when America thought he was robbed of the winner’s title. Despite the show’s outcome, Ralphie’s special brand of comedy combines the familiar elements of hip-hop and topical comedy with a dash of southern down-home flavor and quick wit making Ralphie May one of the most popular comedians in the country. His first DVD, appropriately titled “Just Correct,” went PLATINUM! Released on February 10th of 2004 by Melee Entertainment, a division of DreamWorks, the collection has been described as “fresh and very, very funny.” The DVD also includes footage of his USO Tour to Iraq where he could be seen swimming in Saddam Hussein’s pool.

Raw Material

"How do you get material?" People always ask me that because I write about 2 and a half new hours of material every year. It's easy. You play a game with yourself every time you go on stage. Every new joke is 5 points. Every new tag line is 2 points. Rearranging your material is 1 point. Try to get a minimum of 10 points per show. When I do a headline set, I’ll average anywhere from 60-70 points.

New joke

Write one new joke every time you perform - a joke being anywhere from 8 to 12 seconds depending on if it's fast or slow. You do five of those and you have a new minute. At that rate, you'll have an hour of great material in a year.

Tag line

Two points for a new tag line. No joke is ever finished. Young comics always mess up and make a mistake of not finishing their comedy. They'll get it to where it gets a laugh and then they'll go on to the next joke. A joke is never done. All these jokes are like rubber bands. You can expand them much further than you think. They'll always hold a lot more. Every joke is like a deck of cards. You hold the two end cards together and you have all the other cards in between. They make up quite a bit of space, but they're all individual pieces. If you couldn't think of a whole new 'deck', meaning a new joke or premise, you can add more cards to this deck and make it bigger, and bigger, and bigger. You can get it to where your bits are 12 to 15 minutes long. That's what I do. If I can't out write them on creativity, I’ll drown them in every angle that a joke can have. Every angle.

Be personal

Tell your stories. You want to make sure nobody steals from you? Then don't do anything that anyone else can talk about. Talk about personal instances. Include your personal stuff into it. And don’t' say, 'this is a true story.' No one ever believes anyone who says 'this is a true story' to start off with. But if you add more personal stuff to it, whether it's true or not is immaterial as long as it's funny. That's all that matters. But to make it more believable, and to act like it really happened you'll have to add more minor details instead of just glossing over it.

Short and sweet

Plus, take all your jokes and write them out on a piece of paper. Write it just as you would say it. Then go back through and eliminate every unnecessary word. That's how you tighten your material. You take out every unnecessary word. The spoken word is much shorter that the written word. And yet when comics write out material, they'll write it all out so it makes perfect sense and they'll remember it phonetically. But they don't have to do that. It can be shortened. Example, in my act I talk about playing cards in an old poker room with old dead people. There was a dead person at my table. And everyone else says, ‘No. He's got a 'poker face' and I say, "No. He dead.” Not 'he IS dead' or "he's dead". I shortened it to 'He dead'. I shortened the words to get the punch.

The funny bone is connected to the...

Have you ever been talking to someone and they're trying to tell you a story and they start cracking up at the story because they know how the story goes? And you find yourself smiling, and nodding along with him? And you're ready to explode too? That same thing you can do on stage. But you can't do that unless you build a personal connection with the audience. You can build that up. You can get huge laughs off of a setup by looking at people and engaging them and smiling. Also when you're delivering your material, pan to the side of the room but always deliver your punch lines to the front.

Rock the mic

Know where the mic is and don't let it become an obstruction. If you want to take it out of the mic stand, fine. Move the stand over and get it out of your way. Don't put it in the front of the stage where it can be a hindrance or block any body's view. If you're going to just talk and leave it in the stand, move your hands. Don't be boring.

Voice

Don't be monotone. The old comedy adage: Louder is always funny. Now, just because it's loud doesn't mean it's funny. But if it's funny quiet, then it will kill if you add some volume to it.

Silent But Deadly

One of the most important things that young comics do is that they're afraid of silence. Silence is a wonderful tool. If used properly, silence can double your laughs per minute. Use it. It adds an air of confidence. How do you use it? Before you do the punch line to a joke, if you pause you'll get a laugh at the anticipation of the punch line. And when you hit the punch line, you'll get another laugh. So you just doubled your laughs off that one joke. You can do that throughout your own act and up your laughs-per-minute. Just by implementing it off the bat, you can up your laughs-per-minute 30-40%.

Also, everybody thinks they have to have a segue. You don't have to have a segue. It's just been ingrained in us and it's been something we've been told we had to have a smooth transition - to make it seem conversational, like it's one long story. But it's not. If you want to switch topics, stop. Pause. Then switch topics. That's all you have to do. You don't have to add all these other words. Using silence there instead of 'Uh, um, speaking of' will greatly increase your productivity (in terms of laughs per minute), increase your believability as an entertainer, and the your confidence. Even if you don't have the confidence, just not being afraid is a huge, huge thing. And who cares if they haven't gotten to the joke yet. They'll get there. They'll come with you there. Just wait, and trust in your material. Use silence. Trust me. It'll work.

Zero-drink minimum

Don't drink at the club - ever. And I know you're thinking, "Aww, dude! It's free drinks!" I know. Here’s what happens. You’re cool. You’re having your two drinks, three drinks per show. The manager at the end of the week will be doing the books and will see your comp sheet. And it's inevitable that even thought the beer costs him 50 cents apiece, and he sells them for 6 dollars of whatever they sell them for. He won't see that fact that 28 beers basically cost him only 14 dollars. He'll see the fact that he lost 168 dollars that he lost. And he looks at your food tab a sees what that cost him. And they get 'pissy'. He doesn't see what he put in; he just sees what they could have gotten. And what that does it means that you cost him more money. That means if you're a feature act and you're trying to make headway in this industry and you're sending your 'avails' out. He's a businessman. He knows that he has budgeted for 7 shows, 600 dollars. But between your food and your drinks the last time you were here, you rang up an extra 250 dollars. So now you're costing him not 600 but 850. Over a month, that’s 1000 dollars. Over a year that's 12000 dollars that he's got to pay for comics that drink. They see that as a payment, they see that as telemarketing, and a month of radio that generates tickets. Giving beers to comics doesn't generate anything. You know what that means? That means you lost work! You lost work to the guy that didn't drink, ate sandwiches, didn't try to be a big shot and buy girl's drinks or anything like this. He's going to get the work over you. And you're sitting at home another week getting your beatings from your family. When are you going to pay your bills? When are you going to pay your rent? Your landlord won't take, "Hey. I wrote a great new dick joke" for rent. You have to treat it as a business. It's show 'business'.

It's just business

When you do get a gig do you send avails? At the end of the week when you're getting paid, do you talk to that person about more availability? And what do I need to do to get more work out of you? What can I help you with? How can I make it easier on you? What can I do better next time? Ask!

Be a good businessperson. If they're giving you your first feature gig in an A-room, at the end of the week write a thank-you card. People love it when you hand-write something. To me, it's so much easier to handwrite something and mail it than it is to email something. It takes you five minutes and it makes such a difference and people’s reaction to you as a person, as somebody that wants to get booked. The only time comedy is competitive is getting the actual work. There's only 52 weeks in a year. If you want to fill up your date book and do this professionally, you have to give yourself every advantage. And never give them something they can take away from you or they can have over you. If someone says you're too 'blue', you clean it up. If they still say you're 'too blue', you thank them at the end of the week and you leave and you don't throw a fit about it. If you can't clean it up then you shouldn't have been in that position anyway. And if they didn't know about it then shame on them for booking you without knowing. But don't take it personal.

Michael Somerville

Michael Somerville tried stand-up comedy on a dare while a student at the University of Notre Dame. Upon graduation, he moved to New York City and took a job in advertising but, when his neck became irritated from shaving every day, retired to pursue a career in entertainment. Michael’s good-natured humor and sharp improvisational skills appeal to audiences of all demographics. He has appeared as a panelist on VH1’s "100 Most Wanted Bodies" and is lined up to appear on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend” and the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal. He also appears in several national commercials and was recently featured in an NBC piece about the life of a stand-up comic. An accomplished actor, Michael just finished a successful run in the Off-Broadway hit "Who Killed Woody Allen?".


Nice to meet you


AGR: What is your technique for opening a show?

Michael Somerville: Picture your comedy show as just like meeting someone at a party. You walk up and introduce yourself . What's the first thing you're going to say? Probably something innocuous and something friendly, like, "Hey, what's your name? What do you do? What are you about?" I'm getting to know you and you're getting to know me. So when you come out, it's your introduction. You're meeting someone at a party. But what you don't want to do, in my opinion, is to get on stage and take anything about yourself that you may you want to point out and ask the audience to laugh 'at you' right out of the gates. You wouldn't walk up to someone and say, "Hey. I'm a big girl..." That forces us to laugh at you without knowing you.


Making it OK


Michael Somerville: There was a guy I was working with who had no arms and no legs. It was the most amazing thing I’ve seen in my life. He takes a wheelchair up to the stage. He has to throw himself from the wheelchair to the stage then prop himself onto a chair. He props himself onto a table they have set up for him and then he's able to talk into the microphone. This whole process takes easily four minutes, which is an eternity in stage time. The audience is uncomfortable, they don't know what's happening and they see this. Right away they tense up. And it's just human nature to think, "Uh, oh. What are we going to get into here?" The place is just on edge, "Where do we look? What do we do?" Literally, you've never seen anything like this. No arms, no legs, just a torso. The guy finally gets himself up to the microphone and - the most brilliant opening I've seen in my entire life - says, "So, I used to chew my nails." The tension, and the build-up - the place just erupted! It makes everyone feel good about themselves. Everyone has already thought a bunch of things. Everyone wants it to be 'OK'. Everyone wants him to be funny. Everyone wants to like him. There are so many things going in people's minds that your job as a comic is to get up there is to make it OK.


Clean up in aisle four


AGR: I wrote something down that you said during your set: "Don't be dirty. Be clean and be smart. That's what I'm trying to do as a comic."

Michael Somerville: I believe that is so difficult, but it's so much more worth it to be clever and clean. It's the most rewarding for you and the audience to be smart and funny. I don't need dirty language to be funny. Blue humor is easy. Don't get me wrong. I love dirty jokes if they're smart. We have some people in this industry who think "f*ck" is a punchline. The good news is that if you're clean you separate yourself.



AGR: I can tell by your material that you're a 'writer'. You can tell the difference between someone who is just riffing and hanging out and someone who values the written word and the creative genius that it takes to write. What's your writing ritual?

Michael Somerville: I wish I had one. I wish I had a routine but it's never the same. I try to write regularly but there is no consistency to my approach. As with any comedian, I will make a note of it on a napkin, or mentally, or a voice mail. "That was funny. I need to talk about that. " Sometimes I'll sit at the computer and try to bang out a thousand jokes about a topic and have nothing and then one day I'll be walking down the street and it'll just pop into my mind. The joke will just be there; it will just fix itself. Sometimes it's three months later.

I used to be a big proponent of writing to perfection before bringing it to the stage. The audience is paying and I owed it them to bring something that is a finished product - and I like that approach. But now I’m trying to marry the idea of writing on stage. I'll have a good idea - and sometimes if you're in the moment and talking to someone in a bar, a party, or wherever you’ll say things - your synapses are firing and you’re 'on'; you’ll just say things. I'm now recognizing the value of putting things on stage that are not done. I was so afraid of doing that. I tried to do that tonight. I tried a few new things. I thought it would put myself in a corner and try to find a way out. I thought, "Oh, boy. What am I going to say now? How am I going to fix it?" and sometimes you'll find the answer right there on stage.

I do try to discipline myself to do something funny or write something funny every day because I do believe we have a couple of fresh ideas in us everyday and if we don't embrace them that day then they're gone. That day is finished. You'll never be able to get that day back. And what you might said may not have been genius, may not have been that funny. Ten minutes of brainstorming or trying to write something funny may not have led to anything on that particular day but it may have been the foundation for a later day where you are going to find something. I have a horrible guilt if on any day ,I don't try to access it. If I write a bunch of crap one day I like it. I feel it gets me that much closer to the good jokes. Who was it? Steve Martin who said, "Ten percent of what I write is even worthy of TRYING on stage." Ten percent! So great. Let's write a bunch of crap and get it out of the way, then, thank God, another gem.


Taking the Stage


Michael Somerville: Stage time is essential. The 900 questions you have when you start comedy can be answered just by getting on stage. When I started I wanted to do 100 hours and then assess. 100 hours is lot of show - 5 minutes here, open mic, there, a college. 100 hours and then I can take stock and say, "Where am I?" And when I did that all the stuff I worried about when I first started went away. If you're on stage a lot - every night - you get bored of your stuff and you start to push yourself. I know it's hard to get stage time but it's the absolute answer.


To: Comics
From: Michael


AGR: What’s the best advice you’ve received from another comic that has helped you in your career?

Michael Somerville: I overheard someone say, "Do karaoke". The reason is not to become a great stand-up, but to overcome your fear of performing - particularly if you're not a good singer. Because you can't help but fail. If your a beginning comedian, crank out a bunch of songs and pick songs you can't sing but 'bring it!' You are standing on a stage with a mic and failing and that's comedy. But it's kind of a 'halfway house' .

Another great advice is to take improvisation classes. As comics we have scripts. We write down our jokes, and we know what we're going to say. To do improv was the most naked feeling you have on stage because you’re standing there with no scripts. Yeah, you're standing there with a few other people but they don't know what they're going to say either. I was a fairly seasoned comedian before I took my first improv class and I was terrified. People said, "Oh but you’re so funny." That's because I know what I'm gong to say. It's a set-up/punch. This is unprepared.

AGR: What advice would you like to leave with us?

Michael Somerville: If you're interested in being a comedian - just do it. I think everyone should to it once. There'd be fewer hecklers. If you're terrified or your deathly afraid - find a class. Some people just want to get it out of their system. They just want to try it and never do it again. Get stage time. Comedy is something you have to do a lot to get good at it.

As a comic you can't worry too much about what everyone else is doing. You want to be aware of what they're doing so you can be original and creative. But from there you just want to push yourself to be the best that you can be.

James Johann

In 1991, James Johann began his stand-up career in Kansas City. His youthful appearance, self-deprecating sense of humor, and high-energy style all come together to create a unique on-stage persona.

In July 2004, James performed in the "New Faces Of Comedy" category at the Montreal Just For Laughs Comedy Festival and was featured on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend in 2005.

James headlines comedy clubs nationwide, including the 2003 Paying For The New Trailer theater tour starring Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy. From 2005 to 2007, James also was part of The Slackers Tour, a national tour from one of the producers of The Blue Collar Comedy Tour.


James Johann

Gettin' Inspired


Advice from the Green Room: Who is your comedic inspiration?

James Johann: My taste in comedy is as varied as my taste in music. Whereas I have Billie Holiday next to Slayer in my music collection, I have Bill Hicks next to Steve Martin next to Pigmeat Markham next to Stanhope. This is not to say that I am a die-hard fan of any of these people, but I think it's important to expose yourself to all kinds of styles--especially early on. Also, anything my family does is inherently funny to me. For better or worse, many of my comedic heroes are related to me.


In the Beginning


AGR: How long have you been doing this? How did you get started?

James Johann: I started in 1992 or so. I couldn't find a job I could tolerate after high school and one day my mom said, "Well, you think you're so goddamned funny, why don't you go down to the comedy club and find out?" The rest, as they say, is history.

AGR: What joke got you your first "big laugh?" (Do you still use it?)

James Johann: I honestly can't remember, but yeah, I probably still do it.


Makin' It


AGR: How long did it take you to get to headlining status? Describe the journey.

James Johann: It took quite a long time to get to headline. Many years. How did I get there? Sleeping at truck stops and rest areas. Often eating an Almond Joy and an orange Shasta for dinner. Sleeping on condo floors that were stickier than a 2-year-old hands. Making phone calls 4 days a week to club owners who were in perpetual "meetings." Shouting jokes over clacking pool tables and beeping dart machines. Riding in a van to a godforsaken college in Maine, smelling some other comics stinkin-ass feet and listening to their bad music for 1400 miles. Being awakened by overzealous maids for 12 years. Washing my hair with bar soap. But, of course, still digging it enough not to quit.


Bookin' It


AGR: How did you get the gig with Larry the Cable Guy?

James Johann: I had worked with Larry about 4 times back when he was still working comedy clubs. Colleen Quinn, who manages the Omaha Funny Bone, always put me on as Larry's opener at her club. I'm sure this was an intentional move on her behalf because she has an innate sense of what works well. Even back then there were lines around the corner of the club of people waiting to get in and the club would be adding extra shows. It was easy to see that Larry was getting ready to pop. One night after the last show, he came up to me and said, "You do a good job every time I work with you." He gave me the number of his management company. He said "call these guys." I imagine he put in a word or two for me, because they picked me up about two weeks later and I've been with them ever since. That's how it happened.

AGR: How did you get the set on Premium Blend?

James Johann: I sent a tape like everybody else.


Get it "Write!"


AGR: What's your (daily) writing routine? (ritual)

James Johann: I'm not sure if getting drunk and scrawling smart-ass comments on bar napkins is a ritualistic writing activity, but that's how I do it. Usually. Yeah, I've sat and stared at a blinking cursor before for 3 fruitless hours wondering, "What's funny about a ...tree?" But that method just doesn't work for me. I'm usually in a social setting, or shootin' the shit with my brother and I just say something that I know will work on stage. A lot of my comedy also comes from personal experience--stuff you can't really "write" because it has to happen to you. Once it happens you can embellish and exaggerate. But I feel it's a more organic way of writing. It usually rings true, and it's fairly honest.

AGR: How do you choose the opening joke? Closing joke?

James Johann: It's my belief that an opening joke should be quick to get a laugh. The sooner you make an audience feel that you're at least capable of making them laugh, the better shot you have at keeping the laughs coming. Now I know there are 1000 different opinions in this area. I'm just pointing out what works for me. I also feel that the closing joke is almost secondary to the build up to it. There is a rhythm to a good set, usually. After the checks are paid and the focus of the crowd has returned, you have a short amount of time to build to that final climax. The joke itself should be something strong, but I feel the timing and the build leading up to it is equally as important.


Stage Persona


AGR: Describe your comedic style. What makes you unique?

James Johann: I'm very self-deprecating and I don't like going too terribly long without a good solid laugh-line. I envy certain comics who can use silence to their comedic advantage, but frankly, it scares the shit out of me. I write some things that are generally too mean or preachy for my act, and usually I choose to leave that material out. That's of course a personal choice which I am duly chastised for by certain elite know-it-alls. But as of today, I almost instinctively know what should be in and what should be out of the act.

AGR: How and when did you find your voice?

James Johann: When I finally got the guts to pull the veil back a little on who I really am. Not 100% there yet, but working on it.


Stage Business

AGR: How do you handle a heckler?

James Johann: A shotgun would be nice. Actually, I've found that hecklers only seem to come in two varieties. The first of which is the heckler who is being somewhat playful and good spirited about it, and even though he or she may be annoying and interruptive, a good comic can use someone like this to his or her advantage. The second kind of heckler is the mean-spirited (usually drunken) heckler who is hell-bent on jacking up your show by yelling the most incoherent and obnoxious crap his beer-soaked brain can conjure up. A good comic can also use this to his advantage - but its important not to jump on any heckler too quickly. If the crowd isn't as fed up with the heckler as you are, you can come off looking like the asshole for tearing into them too soon.

AGR: What techniques do you use to get the crowd back (after a dud opening act, bad joke, etc.)
How important is it to work clean? When is "blue" okay?


James Johann: If things aren't going well in your set for whatever reason, I feel it's always good to acknowledge that it isn't. When the laughs aren't good or you're getting crickets on every line, I think it only makes it worse to keep pushing forward and ignoring the fact. Even a quick and subtle acknowledgement that you realize its not going well usually helps to bring the crowd back around to your side. Or you could just say "Screw you people, you don't know funny!" throw the microphone down and walk offstage. Its up to you. As far as blue material is concerned, I say do whatever you find funny. If "blue" works for you, do it.


Workin' It


AGR: What advice do you have for an up and coming comic?

James Johann: There is always the obligatory answer of writing everyday and getting on stage as much as possible - which is actually very good advice, but let's get down to brass tacks here. We all gotta eat. Perhaps more practical advice would be to learn how to say "no" to certain things when the time is appropriate. By this I mean that there comes a time in your personal comedic development when you have to stand up for yourself as a performer. It is important to keep in mind that it is the job of the club booker to get the best talent he/she can for the smallest price. When you're in the beginning stages of comedy--sure--whore yourself out a little. Drive 300 miles for 40 bucks and a ham sandwich. Do a string of one-nighters where you spend more on gas and candy bars than you earn for 9 shows. It's ok. You're young and hungry and working cheap is forgivable. But 3 years later, when you're act is honed and your confidence is high, quit driving to Duluth, Minnesota or Brownsville, Texas to work a Holiday Inn lounge for chump change - it's just pathetic. As soon as you begin to say "no" to certain types of work, your schedule will probably dry up. Mine did. But once you take a stand and say to bookers - "Hey, I'm not an emcee anymore!" or "Hey, I no longer wish to hump it across nine states in my Toyota Corolla with bad brakes and one windshield wiper for $250.00!" You have to stick to your guns. In time, people will realize that you are indeed worth more money or more time or both. But also be wise in knowing when that time is right. Just because you can go onstage and talk for 30-45 minutes doesn't necessarily mean you should automatically get a bigger check and a better spot. Be honest with yourself about the quality of show you are selling. Get what you're worth, but don't push it. Aside from that, when on the road, it's cheaper to go to the grocery store once than McDonald's 15 times.

AGR: How important is "who you know?"

James Johann: Knowing people never hurts. But constant name-dropping gets annoying. Comedy, like anything else, can rely a lot on your personality and how easy or difficult you are to work with. Making contacts and establishing good relationships can help you along the way. Then once you're a big, rich, super comedy star--you can be a prick to everybody. Gotta love show-biz.

Elliott Threatt

26 year veteran Elliott Threatt has appeared on shows such as A&E Comedy on the road, Showtime, Comedy Club Network and HBO's Comic Relief! He has toured musical concerts with famed stars Patti LaBelle to George Jones. He most recently won the HBO U.S.Comedy Art Open Award in Kansas City.

His early comedy partners included Sinbad, Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson and the late Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison. After college he moved to Los Angeles and began show casing the Improvisation and Comedy Store. He was a regular and house EMCEE at the famed Ice House in Pasadena. At the age of 22 Elliott became a national touring headliner. He was runner up for Ellen Degeneres in the Showtime's Funniest in America Contest.

Elliott first released CD, "Biscuits Made From Scratch and Other Funny Stuff," was nominated for a Grammy.



Elliott Threatt, Andrea Caspari, Brad Meehan

Advice from the Green Room: What have you been up to?

Elliott Threatt: I’ve been doing a lot more corporate gigs. They’re becoming increasingly easier because I’m much older. When I was 25 I was doing a lot of risqué material. Now I’m 44 years old. My mind set is different and I don’t have to do much editing.

AGR: How do you get into corporate gigs? It seems to be pretty lucrative.

Elliott Threatt: It’s tough. The way to get in there is to market. I know guys that are ‘okay’ comedians but make thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars doing corporate gigs. They make a lot of money but they really have to work it, though. You do one, you get a reference letter from them that says, ‘I did a great job at Sprint.’ Then you turn that into a 'Hallmark' or wherever. It’s a business. It’s not like a comedy club, though. You have to adhere to their rules. They’re paying a lot more money. They’re paying you more than you’d make in a week in a club. A comedy club might pay you $1000 a week. Corporate gig pays you $2000 in a night.

AGR: For how long? An hour?

Elliott Threatt: An hour? Not even that long. I’ve never done a corporate gig for an hour. It’s too long. It’s more like 35 – 45 minutes. At corporate gigs, they have stuff to do. It’s not like they’re just hanging out trying to get laid or something like that. You’re on between the motivational speaker and the break-out session so it’s shorter.

AGR: How important is it then to work clean?

Elliott Threatt: It’s pretty important - if you want to make more money. That’s the bottom line. If you just want to work the comedy clubs, do whatever you want.

The reality is, Eddie Griffin works really dirty but he’s not going to get the $100,000 gigs from GM like Frank Caliendo. Or he’s not going to get the $75,000 - $80,000 that Cerner pays Jay Leno when he comes to town. That’s where you want to be. You have to ask yourself: would you rather make the money in a big hunk? Or would you rather drive around to comedy clubs or theaters or whatever venue your name supports?

AGR: So it sounds more lucrative to try to write clean.

Elliott Threatt: If you think clean, you’ll write clean.


If I could do it all over...


Elliott Threatt: I admire these guys that drive hours to come do a spot. But if I were them, I’d do it a bit differently. I’d start my own little comedy nights at a bar and not adhere to the other guys structure. What’s the difference between doing it free here or free somewhere else? You don’t have to deal with the arrogance that people can pull off locally because they have some of their comic friends laughing at the back of the room. No one has ever been made famous by just making their comic friends in the back of the room laugh.


Stepping Stones


AGR: How has the Internet and MySpace changed everything?

Elliott Threatt: It’s huge, but it’s already been done. Dane Cook already took that to the n-th degree - him and Jim Gaffigan. It’s probably something different now. The guys that are on the radio shows like Bob and Tom, or Tom Joiner, or Steve Harvey seem to do very well. They have a passionate following. Also, Comedy Central is very powerful.

But, I don’t think one thing is going to do it. It's 'one thing leads to another thing leads to another thing.' They’re stepping-stones. It’s like ‘Frogger’. If you stand there too long, something is going to overtake you.


Charm School


AGR: How was your set last night? I heard you did well.

Elliott Threatt: It was weird. I had to work at them.

AGR: How did you do it?

Elliott Threatt: I just talked to them a bit more. My favorite part of comedy is ad-lib. I like working the crowd. As long as it involves people – you need to pull them in. If someone is kind of waning, you pull them back into the story. When you talk to someone in their group that will normally bring in the entire group.


Walk the Walk


AGR: What advices have your received that has helped you?

Elliott Threatt: Frank Ajaye told me, “Always walk around on stage because people’s eyes tend to get bored. The bigger the stage, the more you walk around.” You take up space because you want attention. You can’t just stand still. Even if you’re not doing anything. Make their eyes follow you. If you stand still people are going to get bored. You’re a school teacher at that point.

Also, I never make fun of the crowd. I don’t pick on them. They didn’t do anything wrong. I hate when comics get down on them and do all that other kind of stuff.


Find your niche


AGR: What would you leave us with today? What would Elliott Threatt like to leave up-and-coming comics?

Elliott Threatt: Develop a niche. You need to find it. I’m not a white guy, but if you’re just another normal white guy, you’ve got nothing to attract a following unless you’re ‘Seinfeld’ funny. And in reality, most folks aren’t Seinfeld funny. The people who do well, they find that active niche. For the black folks, it’s the Def Jam. The country, it’s the Blue Collar. There’s the lesbian, gay, Hispanic. Anyway you can try to branch yourself.


In for the long haul


AGR: What creates longevity in comedy?

Elliott Threatt: Being a good writer. That creates longevity - the words. But only as long as the words make up who you are.

Eric Schwartz

Stop me if you’ve heard this one...

A comedian, a rapper, and a DJ walk into a club.

He puts on an amazing show.

Eric Schwartz (AKA Smooth-E) is so much talent wrapped into one explosive package. A quiet, humble man in person, Schwartz lets it fly when he hits the stage. He incorporates original songs, freestyle rapping, and dancing into his stand-up act. Schwartz is playful and fun—downright goofy at times—as he encourages the audience to dance and sing along.


Andrea Caspari and Eric Schwartz

Since DJing at 14 in his hometown of Thousand Oaks, Calif., Schwartz has come a long way. As an intern for a local radio station, he began writing comedy bits and playing with characters and voices for the legendary radio personality Dick Whittington, then moved on to playing dorm rooms for his friends and cruise ship talent shows with his family. In college he placed 2nd in the comedy competition, “Funniest Person in the Valley.” Since then, Schwartz has been featured on the Tonight Show, Showtime, and he’s currently the most watched comedian on MySpace with over 4 million views.


Eric Schwartz AKA "Smooth-E"

But it’s all in a day’s work, “Your best promotion is your show. The best promotion is the showcase of your (talents)…you’re an artist.”

After treating Stanford and Sons’ manager/comedian Michael Gomez, feature act Dustin Kaufman, and this emcee for a late-night bite at Denny’s, I trapped the fatigued comedian in my car to find out what advice he had for up and comers:


Gaining Momentum


AGR: What is propelling your career right now?

Eric Schwartz: It’s definitely got a lot to do with the Internet. I think more people know about me and have seen me online than have seen me live. The Internet has been amazing.

The first viral video that I had was an accident, a song called “Hanukkah Hey Ya.” (a parody of the Outkast song, “Hey Ya.”) Some kid decided he wanted to practice his flash animation skills. He just tucked it away in a dark corner of his website in a file list where nobody could really find it. But somebody did, and they started forwarding around the link. It got huge…millions of people saw it. Back then, there wasn’t as much content on the Web. It was making headlines…not only in the U.S. That was when I was like, ‘Wow. The power of [the Internet] is so great.’ That was the first one that broke huge (Winter 2004). (The next video, “Matzah” was animated by popular animation team Jib Jab) It went on the Tonight Show and got more millions of views.

AGR: How do [videos] gain popularity on the Internet?

Eric Schwartz: MySpace has become fans of my stuff. They know my stuff now just because I keep doing it and doing it. Pretty soon people latch onto you…they like what you do…that’s all that is. They’re waiting to receive it. They want to share it with their friends. That’s the cool thing about creative projects--people want to share them because it gives them a good feeling.

AGR: How do you get that talent out there?

Eric Schwartz: This is the basis of how [to] succeed in show business: Just put out a good product. That is the main thing…it has to start with a good product. Just keep doing videos and just learn from them. You don’t have to release all of them. Just do ‘em, even for an exercise.

AGR: What is the best tool for promotion?

Eric Schwartz: The best-selling tool that I have ever had is a good show.

Whether it’s on the Web or it’s onstage, when you have something that people like they’re going to tell other people. The club’s going to want to book you more. [They’re] going to want to feature you. It brings them people, which is what they want.


Write! Write! Write!


AGR: Is it more about ideas or just sitting down to write?

Eric Schwartz: I write every morning as soon as I get up. I try to write everyday. I do like three pages everyday [without stopping]…jokes [come] a lot of times just in conversation…that’s a great way…you know it works…or a situation happens…or you just notice something…

Schwartz recommends “The Artist’s Way,” by Julia Cameron. It’s a 12-week workbook that has helped his writing goals tremendously.


Focus on Yourself


AGR: Does it matter what everyone else is doing?

Eric Schwartz: Carlos Mencia told me something once. He said, “People are going to pass you on the way up and on the way down and it doesn’t matter. You just have to be focused on what you’re doing.” What does it matter what somebody else is doing? It doesn’t matter. We [spend time] comparing ourselves…it’s human nature…but if you really think about it…nothing that anybody else does really affects you. I see comedians do it all that time, “That person is stealing my joke!” or “I can’t do my dating joke because that person just did it!” But it’s all in your imagination! There’s a way you can do it because you’re a different person. Whatever circumstances you have in any given room...it’s like a puzzle. There’s a way to figure it out. I don’t think it’s ever impossible to figure it out. I’ve seen people tank when they didn’t need to tank, or do well when nobody expected them to.


Do Your Own Thing


AGR: What was a turning point in your stage performance?

Eric Schwartz: I [had] never mixed my comedy with my music…I’ve always had that show inside me…I thought to myself, “What would be the most fun I could have in my show?” That’s what I do now. I want to have a show where not only people are laughing, but they’re like grooving along with the music…it’s like a party…my show is almost like I am DJing but I’m doing comedy.

I want to keep surprising people. I love doing it! When I’m up there it’s just like so much fun. I’d rather do stand-up than [go to clubs]. I’m working and I’m getting paid to do it. It’s like the best! Just don’t feel limited with what you can do for stand-up. I think we build it up to be more difficult than it really is.

AGR: Is there a formula?

Eric Schwartz: No…everything’s going to work differently for different people…

My best times of success have been when I’m focused on putting out a good show.

The way to get ahead is to get your writing ahead and your performing ahead.


Live Your Dream


AGR: What advice do you have for up and coming comics?

Eric Schwartz: Don’t listen to comedians…listen to yourself the most. There’s a lot of stuff that people will tell you about what comedy is and isn’t…how you should be, but you know that you got into comedy to do a certain thing. Whatever that is, explore that. That is the dream that you’ve had. Go after that, and not somebody else’s dream.

The most important thing is to just do a good show. Do your job. The main thing that a lot of times we lose sight of is to be a comedian. It will get you so much further than getting friends on MySpace. I want to be a good comedian first. I don’t want to be a comedian who’s good at MySpace. Use it as the spreader of good work. Don’t spread yourself and not have anything to offer. People will advertise it for you.