Michael Somerville

Michael Somerville tried stand-up comedy on a dare while a student at the University of Notre Dame. Upon graduation, he moved to New York City and took a job in advertising but, when his neck became irritated from shaving every day, retired to pursue a career in entertainment. Michael’s good-natured humor and sharp improvisational skills appeal to audiences of all demographics. He has appeared as a panelist on VH1’s "100 Most Wanted Bodies" and is lined up to appear on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend” and the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal. He also appears in several national commercials and was recently featured in an NBC piece about the life of a stand-up comic. An accomplished actor, Michael just finished a successful run in the Off-Broadway hit "Who Killed Woody Allen?".


Nice to meet you


AGR: What is your technique for opening a show?

Michael Somerville: Picture your comedy show as just like meeting someone at a party. You walk up and introduce yourself . What's the first thing you're going to say? Probably something innocuous and something friendly, like, "Hey, what's your name? What do you do? What are you about?" I'm getting to know you and you're getting to know me. So when you come out, it's your introduction. You're meeting someone at a party. But what you don't want to do, in my opinion, is to get on stage and take anything about yourself that you may you want to point out and ask the audience to laugh 'at you' right out of the gates. You wouldn't walk up to someone and say, "Hey. I'm a big girl..." That forces us to laugh at you without knowing you.


Making it OK


Michael Somerville: There was a guy I was working with who had no arms and no legs. It was the most amazing thing I’ve seen in my life. He takes a wheelchair up to the stage. He has to throw himself from the wheelchair to the stage then prop himself onto a chair. He props himself onto a table they have set up for him and then he's able to talk into the microphone. This whole process takes easily four minutes, which is an eternity in stage time. The audience is uncomfortable, they don't know what's happening and they see this. Right away they tense up. And it's just human nature to think, "Uh, oh. What are we going to get into here?" The place is just on edge, "Where do we look? What do we do?" Literally, you've never seen anything like this. No arms, no legs, just a torso. The guy finally gets himself up to the microphone and - the most brilliant opening I've seen in my entire life - says, "So, I used to chew my nails." The tension, and the build-up - the place just erupted! It makes everyone feel good about themselves. Everyone has already thought a bunch of things. Everyone wants it to be 'OK'. Everyone wants him to be funny. Everyone wants to like him. There are so many things going in people's minds that your job as a comic is to get up there is to make it OK.


Clean up in aisle four


AGR: I wrote something down that you said during your set: "Don't be dirty. Be clean and be smart. That's what I'm trying to do as a comic."

Michael Somerville: I believe that is so difficult, but it's so much more worth it to be clever and clean. It's the most rewarding for you and the audience to be smart and funny. I don't need dirty language to be funny. Blue humor is easy. Don't get me wrong. I love dirty jokes if they're smart. We have some people in this industry who think "f*ck" is a punchline. The good news is that if you're clean you separate yourself.



AGR: I can tell by your material that you're a 'writer'. You can tell the difference between someone who is just riffing and hanging out and someone who values the written word and the creative genius that it takes to write. What's your writing ritual?

Michael Somerville: I wish I had one. I wish I had a routine but it's never the same. I try to write regularly but there is no consistency to my approach. As with any comedian, I will make a note of it on a napkin, or mentally, or a voice mail. "That was funny. I need to talk about that. " Sometimes I'll sit at the computer and try to bang out a thousand jokes about a topic and have nothing and then one day I'll be walking down the street and it'll just pop into my mind. The joke will just be there; it will just fix itself. Sometimes it's three months later.

I used to be a big proponent of writing to perfection before bringing it to the stage. The audience is paying and I owed it them to bring something that is a finished product - and I like that approach. But now I’m trying to marry the idea of writing on stage. I'll have a good idea - and sometimes if you're in the moment and talking to someone in a bar, a party, or wherever you’ll say things - your synapses are firing and you’re 'on'; you’ll just say things. I'm now recognizing the value of putting things on stage that are not done. I was so afraid of doing that. I tried to do that tonight. I tried a few new things. I thought it would put myself in a corner and try to find a way out. I thought, "Oh, boy. What am I going to say now? How am I going to fix it?" and sometimes you'll find the answer right there on stage.

I do try to discipline myself to do something funny or write something funny every day because I do believe we have a couple of fresh ideas in us everyday and if we don't embrace them that day then they're gone. That day is finished. You'll never be able to get that day back. And what you might said may not have been genius, may not have been that funny. Ten minutes of brainstorming or trying to write something funny may not have led to anything on that particular day but it may have been the foundation for a later day where you are going to find something. I have a horrible guilt if on any day ,I don't try to access it. If I write a bunch of crap one day I like it. I feel it gets me that much closer to the good jokes. Who was it? Steve Martin who said, "Ten percent of what I write is even worthy of TRYING on stage." Ten percent! So great. Let's write a bunch of crap and get it out of the way, then, thank God, another gem.


Taking the Stage


Michael Somerville: Stage time is essential. The 900 questions you have when you start comedy can be answered just by getting on stage. When I started I wanted to do 100 hours and then assess. 100 hours is lot of show - 5 minutes here, open mic, there, a college. 100 hours and then I can take stock and say, "Where am I?" And when I did that all the stuff I worried about when I first started went away. If you're on stage a lot - every night - you get bored of your stuff and you start to push yourself. I know it's hard to get stage time but it's the absolute answer.


To: Comics
From: Michael


AGR: What’s the best advice you’ve received from another comic that has helped you in your career?

Michael Somerville: I overheard someone say, "Do karaoke". The reason is not to become a great stand-up, but to overcome your fear of performing - particularly if you're not a good singer. Because you can't help but fail. If your a beginning comedian, crank out a bunch of songs and pick songs you can't sing but 'bring it!' You are standing on a stage with a mic and failing and that's comedy. But it's kind of a 'halfway house' .

Another great advice is to take improvisation classes. As comics we have scripts. We write down our jokes, and we know what we're going to say. To do improv was the most naked feeling you have on stage because you’re standing there with no scripts. Yeah, you're standing there with a few other people but they don't know what they're going to say either. I was a fairly seasoned comedian before I took my first improv class and I was terrified. People said, "Oh but you’re so funny." That's because I know what I'm gong to say. It's a set-up/punch. This is unprepared.

AGR: What advice would you like to leave with us?

Michael Somerville: If you're interested in being a comedian - just do it. I think everyone should to it once. There'd be fewer hecklers. If you're terrified or your deathly afraid - find a class. Some people just want to get it out of their system. They just want to try it and never do it again. Get stage time. Comedy is something you have to do a lot to get good at it.

As a comic you can't worry too much about what everyone else is doing. You want to be aware of what they're doing so you can be original and creative. But from there you just want to push yourself to be the best that you can be.

James Johann

In 1991, James Johann began his stand-up career in Kansas City. His youthful appearance, self-deprecating sense of humor, and high-energy style all come together to create a unique on-stage persona.

In July 2004, James performed in the "New Faces Of Comedy" category at the Montreal Just For Laughs Comedy Festival and was featured on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend in 2005.

James headlines comedy clubs nationwide, including the 2003 Paying For The New Trailer theater tour starring Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy. From 2005 to 2007, James also was part of The Slackers Tour, a national tour from one of the producers of The Blue Collar Comedy Tour.


James Johann

Gettin' Inspired


Advice from the Green Room: Who is your comedic inspiration?

James Johann: My taste in comedy is as varied as my taste in music. Whereas I have Billie Holiday next to Slayer in my music collection, I have Bill Hicks next to Steve Martin next to Pigmeat Markham next to Stanhope. This is not to say that I am a die-hard fan of any of these people, but I think it's important to expose yourself to all kinds of styles--especially early on. Also, anything my family does is inherently funny to me. For better or worse, many of my comedic heroes are related to me.


In the Beginning


AGR: How long have you been doing this? How did you get started?

James Johann: I started in 1992 or so. I couldn't find a job I could tolerate after high school and one day my mom said, "Well, you think you're so goddamned funny, why don't you go down to the comedy club and find out?" The rest, as they say, is history.

AGR: What joke got you your first "big laugh?" (Do you still use it?)

James Johann: I honestly can't remember, but yeah, I probably still do it.


Makin' It


AGR: How long did it take you to get to headlining status? Describe the journey.

James Johann: It took quite a long time to get to headline. Many years. How did I get there? Sleeping at truck stops and rest areas. Often eating an Almond Joy and an orange Shasta for dinner. Sleeping on condo floors that were stickier than a 2-year-old hands. Making phone calls 4 days a week to club owners who were in perpetual "meetings." Shouting jokes over clacking pool tables and beeping dart machines. Riding in a van to a godforsaken college in Maine, smelling some other comics stinkin-ass feet and listening to their bad music for 1400 miles. Being awakened by overzealous maids for 12 years. Washing my hair with bar soap. But, of course, still digging it enough not to quit.


Bookin' It


AGR: How did you get the gig with Larry the Cable Guy?

James Johann: I had worked with Larry about 4 times back when he was still working comedy clubs. Colleen Quinn, who manages the Omaha Funny Bone, always put me on as Larry's opener at her club. I'm sure this was an intentional move on her behalf because she has an innate sense of what works well. Even back then there were lines around the corner of the club of people waiting to get in and the club would be adding extra shows. It was easy to see that Larry was getting ready to pop. One night after the last show, he came up to me and said, "You do a good job every time I work with you." He gave me the number of his management company. He said "call these guys." I imagine he put in a word or two for me, because they picked me up about two weeks later and I've been with them ever since. That's how it happened.

AGR: How did you get the set on Premium Blend?

James Johann: I sent a tape like everybody else.


Get it "Write!"


AGR: What's your (daily) writing routine? (ritual)

James Johann: I'm not sure if getting drunk and scrawling smart-ass comments on bar napkins is a ritualistic writing activity, but that's how I do it. Usually. Yeah, I've sat and stared at a blinking cursor before for 3 fruitless hours wondering, "What's funny about a ...tree?" But that method just doesn't work for me. I'm usually in a social setting, or shootin' the shit with my brother and I just say something that I know will work on stage. A lot of my comedy also comes from personal experience--stuff you can't really "write" because it has to happen to you. Once it happens you can embellish and exaggerate. But I feel it's a more organic way of writing. It usually rings true, and it's fairly honest.

AGR: How do you choose the opening joke? Closing joke?

James Johann: It's my belief that an opening joke should be quick to get a laugh. The sooner you make an audience feel that you're at least capable of making them laugh, the better shot you have at keeping the laughs coming. Now I know there are 1000 different opinions in this area. I'm just pointing out what works for me. I also feel that the closing joke is almost secondary to the build up to it. There is a rhythm to a good set, usually. After the checks are paid and the focus of the crowd has returned, you have a short amount of time to build to that final climax. The joke itself should be something strong, but I feel the timing and the build leading up to it is equally as important.


Stage Persona


AGR: Describe your comedic style. What makes you unique?

James Johann: I'm very self-deprecating and I don't like going too terribly long without a good solid laugh-line. I envy certain comics who can use silence to their comedic advantage, but frankly, it scares the shit out of me. I write some things that are generally too mean or preachy for my act, and usually I choose to leave that material out. That's of course a personal choice which I am duly chastised for by certain elite know-it-alls. But as of today, I almost instinctively know what should be in and what should be out of the act.

AGR: How and when did you find your voice?

James Johann: When I finally got the guts to pull the veil back a little on who I really am. Not 100% there yet, but working on it.


Stage Business

AGR: How do you handle a heckler?

James Johann: A shotgun would be nice. Actually, I've found that hecklers only seem to come in two varieties. The first of which is the heckler who is being somewhat playful and good spirited about it, and even though he or she may be annoying and interruptive, a good comic can use someone like this to his or her advantage. The second kind of heckler is the mean-spirited (usually drunken) heckler who is hell-bent on jacking up your show by yelling the most incoherent and obnoxious crap his beer-soaked brain can conjure up. A good comic can also use this to his advantage - but its important not to jump on any heckler too quickly. If the crowd isn't as fed up with the heckler as you are, you can come off looking like the asshole for tearing into them too soon.

AGR: What techniques do you use to get the crowd back (after a dud opening act, bad joke, etc.)
How important is it to work clean? When is "blue" okay?


James Johann: If things aren't going well in your set for whatever reason, I feel it's always good to acknowledge that it isn't. When the laughs aren't good or you're getting crickets on every line, I think it only makes it worse to keep pushing forward and ignoring the fact. Even a quick and subtle acknowledgement that you realize its not going well usually helps to bring the crowd back around to your side. Or you could just say "Screw you people, you don't know funny!" throw the microphone down and walk offstage. Its up to you. As far as blue material is concerned, I say do whatever you find funny. If "blue" works for you, do it.


Workin' It


AGR: What advice do you have for an up and coming comic?

James Johann: There is always the obligatory answer of writing everyday and getting on stage as much as possible - which is actually very good advice, but let's get down to brass tacks here. We all gotta eat. Perhaps more practical advice would be to learn how to say "no" to certain things when the time is appropriate. By this I mean that there comes a time in your personal comedic development when you have to stand up for yourself as a performer. It is important to keep in mind that it is the job of the club booker to get the best talent he/she can for the smallest price. When you're in the beginning stages of comedy--sure--whore yourself out a little. Drive 300 miles for 40 bucks and a ham sandwich. Do a string of one-nighters where you spend more on gas and candy bars than you earn for 9 shows. It's ok. You're young and hungry and working cheap is forgivable. But 3 years later, when you're act is honed and your confidence is high, quit driving to Duluth, Minnesota or Brownsville, Texas to work a Holiday Inn lounge for chump change - it's just pathetic. As soon as you begin to say "no" to certain types of work, your schedule will probably dry up. Mine did. But once you take a stand and say to bookers - "Hey, I'm not an emcee anymore!" or "Hey, I no longer wish to hump it across nine states in my Toyota Corolla with bad brakes and one windshield wiper for $250.00!" You have to stick to your guns. In time, people will realize that you are indeed worth more money or more time or both. But also be wise in knowing when that time is right. Just because you can go onstage and talk for 30-45 minutes doesn't necessarily mean you should automatically get a bigger check and a better spot. Be honest with yourself about the quality of show you are selling. Get what you're worth, but don't push it. Aside from that, when on the road, it's cheaper to go to the grocery store once than McDonald's 15 times.

AGR: How important is "who you know?"

James Johann: Knowing people never hurts. But constant name-dropping gets annoying. Comedy, like anything else, can rely a lot on your personality and how easy or difficult you are to work with. Making contacts and establishing good relationships can help you along the way. Then once you're a big, rich, super comedy star--you can be a prick to everybody. Gotta love show-biz.

Elliott Threatt

26 year veteran Elliott Threatt has appeared on shows such as A&E Comedy on the road, Showtime, Comedy Club Network and HBO's Comic Relief! He has toured musical concerts with famed stars Patti LaBelle to George Jones. He most recently won the HBO U.S.Comedy Art Open Award in Kansas City.

His early comedy partners included Sinbad, Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson and the late Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison. After college he moved to Los Angeles and began show casing the Improvisation and Comedy Store. He was a regular and house EMCEE at the famed Ice House in Pasadena. At the age of 22 Elliott became a national touring headliner. He was runner up for Ellen Degeneres in the Showtime's Funniest in America Contest.

Elliott first released CD, "Biscuits Made From Scratch and Other Funny Stuff," was nominated for a Grammy.



Elliott Threatt, Andrea Caspari, Brad Meehan

Advice from the Green Room: What have you been up to?

Elliott Threatt: I’ve been doing a lot more corporate gigs. They’re becoming increasingly easier because I’m much older. When I was 25 I was doing a lot of risqué material. Now I’m 44 years old. My mind set is different and I don’t have to do much editing.

AGR: How do you get into corporate gigs? It seems to be pretty lucrative.

Elliott Threatt: It’s tough. The way to get in there is to market. I know guys that are ‘okay’ comedians but make thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars doing corporate gigs. They make a lot of money but they really have to work it, though. You do one, you get a reference letter from them that says, ‘I did a great job at Sprint.’ Then you turn that into a 'Hallmark' or wherever. It’s a business. It’s not like a comedy club, though. You have to adhere to their rules. They’re paying a lot more money. They’re paying you more than you’d make in a week in a club. A comedy club might pay you $1000 a week. Corporate gig pays you $2000 in a night.

AGR: For how long? An hour?

Elliott Threatt: An hour? Not even that long. I’ve never done a corporate gig for an hour. It’s too long. It’s more like 35 – 45 minutes. At corporate gigs, they have stuff to do. It’s not like they’re just hanging out trying to get laid or something like that. You’re on between the motivational speaker and the break-out session so it’s shorter.

AGR: How important is it then to work clean?

Elliott Threatt: It’s pretty important - if you want to make more money. That’s the bottom line. If you just want to work the comedy clubs, do whatever you want.

The reality is, Eddie Griffin works really dirty but he’s not going to get the $100,000 gigs from GM like Frank Caliendo. Or he’s not going to get the $75,000 - $80,000 that Cerner pays Jay Leno when he comes to town. That’s where you want to be. You have to ask yourself: would you rather make the money in a big hunk? Or would you rather drive around to comedy clubs or theaters or whatever venue your name supports?

AGR: So it sounds more lucrative to try to write clean.

Elliott Threatt: If you think clean, you’ll write clean.


If I could do it all over...


Elliott Threatt: I admire these guys that drive hours to come do a spot. But if I were them, I’d do it a bit differently. I’d start my own little comedy nights at a bar and not adhere to the other guys structure. What’s the difference between doing it free here or free somewhere else? You don’t have to deal with the arrogance that people can pull off locally because they have some of their comic friends laughing at the back of the room. No one has ever been made famous by just making their comic friends in the back of the room laugh.


Stepping Stones


AGR: How has the Internet and MySpace changed everything?

Elliott Threatt: It’s huge, but it’s already been done. Dane Cook already took that to the n-th degree - him and Jim Gaffigan. It’s probably something different now. The guys that are on the radio shows like Bob and Tom, or Tom Joiner, or Steve Harvey seem to do very well. They have a passionate following. Also, Comedy Central is very powerful.

But, I don’t think one thing is going to do it. It's 'one thing leads to another thing leads to another thing.' They’re stepping-stones. It’s like ‘Frogger’. If you stand there too long, something is going to overtake you.


Charm School


AGR: How was your set last night? I heard you did well.

Elliott Threatt: It was weird. I had to work at them.

AGR: How did you do it?

Elliott Threatt: I just talked to them a bit more. My favorite part of comedy is ad-lib. I like working the crowd. As long as it involves people – you need to pull them in. If someone is kind of waning, you pull them back into the story. When you talk to someone in their group that will normally bring in the entire group.


Walk the Walk


AGR: What advices have your received that has helped you?

Elliott Threatt: Frank Ajaye told me, “Always walk around on stage because people’s eyes tend to get bored. The bigger the stage, the more you walk around.” You take up space because you want attention. You can’t just stand still. Even if you’re not doing anything. Make their eyes follow you. If you stand still people are going to get bored. You’re a school teacher at that point.

Also, I never make fun of the crowd. I don’t pick on them. They didn’t do anything wrong. I hate when comics get down on them and do all that other kind of stuff.


Find your niche


AGR: What would you leave us with today? What would Elliott Threatt like to leave up-and-coming comics?

Elliott Threatt: Develop a niche. You need to find it. I’m not a white guy, but if you’re just another normal white guy, you’ve got nothing to attract a following unless you’re ‘Seinfeld’ funny. And in reality, most folks aren’t Seinfeld funny. The people who do well, they find that active niche. For the black folks, it’s the Def Jam. The country, it’s the Blue Collar. There’s the lesbian, gay, Hispanic. Anyway you can try to branch yourself.


In for the long haul


AGR: What creates longevity in comedy?

Elliott Threatt: Being a good writer. That creates longevity - the words. But only as long as the words make up who you are.

Eric Schwartz

Stop me if you’ve heard this one...

A comedian, a rapper, and a DJ walk into a club.

He puts on an amazing show.

Eric Schwartz (AKA Smooth-E) is so much talent wrapped into one explosive package. A quiet, humble man in person, Schwartz lets it fly when he hits the stage. He incorporates original songs, freestyle rapping, and dancing into his stand-up act. Schwartz is playful and fun—downright goofy at times—as he encourages the audience to dance and sing along.


Andrea Caspari and Eric Schwartz

Since DJing at 14 in his hometown of Thousand Oaks, Calif., Schwartz has come a long way. As an intern for a local radio station, he began writing comedy bits and playing with characters and voices for the legendary radio personality Dick Whittington, then moved on to playing dorm rooms for his friends and cruise ship talent shows with his family. In college he placed 2nd in the comedy competition, “Funniest Person in the Valley.” Since then, Schwartz has been featured on the Tonight Show, Showtime, and he’s currently the most watched comedian on MySpace with over 4 million views.


Eric Schwartz AKA "Smooth-E"

But it’s all in a day’s work, “Your best promotion is your show. The best promotion is the showcase of your (talents)…you’re an artist.”

After treating Stanford and Sons’ manager/comedian Michael Gomez, feature act Dustin Kaufman, and this emcee for a late-night bite at Denny’s, I trapped the fatigued comedian in my car to find out what advice he had for up and comers:


Gaining Momentum


AGR: What is propelling your career right now?

Eric Schwartz: It’s definitely got a lot to do with the Internet. I think more people know about me and have seen me online than have seen me live. The Internet has been amazing.

The first viral video that I had was an accident, a song called “Hanukkah Hey Ya.” (a parody of the Outkast song, “Hey Ya.”) Some kid decided he wanted to practice his flash animation skills. He just tucked it away in a dark corner of his website in a file list where nobody could really find it. But somebody did, and they started forwarding around the link. It got huge…millions of people saw it. Back then, there wasn’t as much content on the Web. It was making headlines…not only in the U.S. That was when I was like, ‘Wow. The power of [the Internet] is so great.’ That was the first one that broke huge (Winter 2004). (The next video, “Matzah” was animated by popular animation team Jib Jab) It went on the Tonight Show and got more millions of views.

AGR: How do [videos] gain popularity on the Internet?

Eric Schwartz: MySpace has become fans of my stuff. They know my stuff now just because I keep doing it and doing it. Pretty soon people latch onto you…they like what you do…that’s all that is. They’re waiting to receive it. They want to share it with their friends. That’s the cool thing about creative projects--people want to share them because it gives them a good feeling.

AGR: How do you get that talent out there?

Eric Schwartz: This is the basis of how [to] succeed in show business: Just put out a good product. That is the main thing…it has to start with a good product. Just keep doing videos and just learn from them. You don’t have to release all of them. Just do ‘em, even for an exercise.

AGR: What is the best tool for promotion?

Eric Schwartz: The best-selling tool that I have ever had is a good show.

Whether it’s on the Web or it’s onstage, when you have something that people like they’re going to tell other people. The club’s going to want to book you more. [They’re] going to want to feature you. It brings them people, which is what they want.


Write! Write! Write!


AGR: Is it more about ideas or just sitting down to write?

Eric Schwartz: I write every morning as soon as I get up. I try to write everyday. I do like three pages everyday [without stopping]…jokes [come] a lot of times just in conversation…that’s a great way…you know it works…or a situation happens…or you just notice something…

Schwartz recommends “The Artist’s Way,” by Julia Cameron. It’s a 12-week workbook that has helped his writing goals tremendously.


Focus on Yourself


AGR: Does it matter what everyone else is doing?

Eric Schwartz: Carlos Mencia told me something once. He said, “People are going to pass you on the way up and on the way down and it doesn’t matter. You just have to be focused on what you’re doing.” What does it matter what somebody else is doing? It doesn’t matter. We [spend time] comparing ourselves…it’s human nature…but if you really think about it…nothing that anybody else does really affects you. I see comedians do it all that time, “That person is stealing my joke!” or “I can’t do my dating joke because that person just did it!” But it’s all in your imagination! There’s a way you can do it because you’re a different person. Whatever circumstances you have in any given room...it’s like a puzzle. There’s a way to figure it out. I don’t think it’s ever impossible to figure it out. I’ve seen people tank when they didn’t need to tank, or do well when nobody expected them to.


Do Your Own Thing


AGR: What was a turning point in your stage performance?

Eric Schwartz: I [had] never mixed my comedy with my music…I’ve always had that show inside me…I thought to myself, “What would be the most fun I could have in my show?” That’s what I do now. I want to have a show where not only people are laughing, but they’re like grooving along with the music…it’s like a party…my show is almost like I am DJing but I’m doing comedy.

I want to keep surprising people. I love doing it! When I’m up there it’s just like so much fun. I’d rather do stand-up than [go to clubs]. I’m working and I’m getting paid to do it. It’s like the best! Just don’t feel limited with what you can do for stand-up. I think we build it up to be more difficult than it really is.

AGR: Is there a formula?

Eric Schwartz: No…everything’s going to work differently for different people…

My best times of success have been when I’m focused on putting out a good show.

The way to get ahead is to get your writing ahead and your performing ahead.


Live Your Dream


AGR: What advice do you have for up and coming comics?

Eric Schwartz: Don’t listen to comedians…listen to yourself the most. There’s a lot of stuff that people will tell you about what comedy is and isn’t…how you should be, but you know that you got into comedy to do a certain thing. Whatever that is, explore that. That is the dream that you’ve had. Go after that, and not somebody else’s dream.

The most important thing is to just do a good show. Do your job. The main thing that a lot of times we lose sight of is to be a comedian. It will get you so much further than getting friends on MySpace. I want to be a good comedian first. I don’t want to be a comedian who’s good at MySpace. Use it as the spreader of good work. Don’t spread yourself and not have anything to offer. People will advertise it for you.

Henry Welch

Do You...

Comedian Henry Welch took the stage at the Kansas City Improv April 17, 2007. Now hailing from Atlanta, GA, Welch had to follow 6 local comedians and win over the fatigued crowd. He did so with deft wit and by punctuating his jokes with unique phrases, such as, “Y’all ain’t ready for me!” Welch got his start in Birmingham, AL, where he began comedy in 1987. He began his full-time career in 1994, and now travels around the country each week, entertaining crowds in various cities such as Miami, Richmond, Cincinnati, Columbus, and Baltimore. This was Welch’s first time back to Kansas City since he performed about 6 years ago for a New Years party. Friendly and accommodating, Welch and I sat down in the Green Room so I could find out how he manages to energize new crowds yet remain so clean. (Inside tip: he performs as if the women in his family are in the audience!)

Henry Welch

New Kid in Town

Advice from the Green Room: How do you know how to get the crowd on your side when you’re new to the city?

Henry Welch: I try to do little clever stuff. It was a good crowd and I appreciated them.

My stuff is crazy in a unique and different way. I’m not intimidated. I like to be a little intelligent and have a lot of fun.

AGR: How do you prepare for a show in a different city?

Henry Welch: I read two different newspapers everyday so I know what’s going on in these cities. [I say], “I need to remember that when I get there.”

You want to make the people feel like they’re a part of it, too. You don’t want to come to these towns and make [them] think you’re better than the people. You want to make the people come and embrace you.

Clean Sweep

AGR: How important is it to be clean?

Henry Welch: You don’t have to be that dirty. Sometimes they think because it’s a black crowd we want to hear the N-word. They don’t want to hear that either. You don’t want to be like that.

I work churches and colleges and everywhere. I learned if I can be clean I can go anywhere.

It’s easy to be dirty--it’s hard to be clean…and I take that challenge. As a Black comedian they have that stigma—just nasty and raunchy—[but] I’m a very intelligent guy.

AGR: What’s your writing technique?

Henry Welch: I just read something and I can see the headline and I just take it from there. I used to write down a lot of stuff but now I’m at the point where I decided to keep it in my head because comics can’t steal it in my head.

AGR: How do you stay fresh and on your game?

Henry Welch: As a kid I used to read at my grandmother’s house…current events…

As a comic I feel like you’ve got to know what’s going on everyday. A lot of comics [are] stuck where they’re at. [No one] wants to book them because [they’re] cutting the same jokes.

As a comic, you’ve got to prove yourself every night. What I did tonight [doesn’t] mean [anything] tomorrow. To me being a comic is like being a porno star or boxer. You’ve got to come up with the work. They’re going to be expecting you to do the knock out…they expect you to be funny. It’s the most humbling experience.

AGR: Where do you get your work ethic?

Henry Welch: I’ve got the old school mentality. I come from the era where you had to take 5 to 6 years to learn how to be a comedian. But some people have been doing comedy for two weeks and then they got thrown on BET—now you can’t tell them that. Some people got the break and what do they do with it?

You want longevity. I set the example. If you’re a headliner you’ve got to be able to follow whatever comes in front of you.

AGR: What advice do you have for an up and coming comic?

Henry Welch: You need to know that you’ve got to keep doing your stuff. When people tell you, “Don’t talk about this, don’t talk about that,” in so many words [they’re] telling you, “Don’t be funny in front of me.”

You’ve got to listen and do what you think is best. You’re a comic. You want to be funny. You want to do your best stuff.

A lot of times people think they’re giving you good advice, and they’re not.

Do "you". Always do you.

Do you. For real. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Do you.

Darren Carter

I first heard Darren Carter on the now defunct All Comedy Radio station. I had no idea what he looked like, but I had a picture in my head from the descriptions of himself in his jokes. He looked exactly like I imagined. He had such a silly style that had me laughing out loud in the car. When I heard he was coming to Kansas City, I had to meet him.


Darren Carter, the Party Starter.


Darren Carter

I met up with Darren before he took the stage at Stanford's Comedy Club in Kansas City. I just got off stage after finishing my set and saw him in the Green Room talking with the club owner and Andrea Caspari. Perfect timing. I wanted to know how he prepared for a show, and particularly his technique for 'winning' over a new crowd in a new city.


Andrea Caspari, Darren Carter, Brad Meehan

Darren is great at really pumping up the crowd. He comes out to his own theme song written by Kansas City rapper "Big Fluff Nickolantern." It takes him less than two seconds to get an entire room on his side and really involves the crowd throughout entire the show - something I haven't seen to that extent. As the music blasted from the speakers, he showed that this is his party and we were all invited.


Darren Carter "The Rooster" and Big Fluff Nickolantern

Taking the Stage

AGR: What are you doing right now? How are you preparing for your set? Do you have a set list you write out?

Darren Carter: For stuff that's really important, I'll write down a set list. On the road, I have a lot of material and it's all floating around in my head - I want to be able to grab on to this joke and that joke.

AGR: When do you work out new material?

Darren Carter: I usually just throw it in the mix. Sometimes I'll even open with new material. Seinfeld said, "Never open with new material." But on that last set, I did my first two minutes and got them on my side then tried [a new bit]. And it worked. That was all new. I've probably done it less than ten times.

AGR: When do you decide if it works of if you're going to throw it away?

Darren Carter: Most of the stuff I do works. But if it doesn't I'll put it away and bring it out later. Some stuff I'll throw away. But honestly, it either works really well or it will barely work. You have to believe in it.

I look back at jokes I wrote like five years ago and I think, "That's kind of funny." Then I'll deliver it. I'll bring it out and actually do it. But because I don't believe in it anymore, I can't sell it. It used to kill for me because I used to believe in it. Like some of your stuff, the stuff that you love, it may just kill now. But then five years, ten years from now you're going to be like, "This is not my big bit anymore." But someone that saw you tonight will remember that joke. And in 2017, they'll see you and they'll [quote the joke]. Then you'll think, "I should do that joke again." And you'll do it, but if you don't believe it's funny, it won't work any more.


Be Yourself

AGR: Are you 'yourself' on stage?

Darren Carter: Yes. I'm a heightened version of myself on stage. Obviously I don't walk around 'beat-boxing' or doing weird shit like that. Sometimes I do. I'm the type of comic that likes to joke around. Some comedians when they're not performing they're quiet, they're bitter, or they're angry. But they find a away to bring comedy out of that. I'm personally not like that. I like to go for the silly. I always like making people laugh - even if it's just one person.


Just Follow the Rules

The one thing I learned early on is that there are no rules in comedy. Some guys say 'don't yell.' Well, there are guys that yell: Dane Cook, Sam Kinnison. Some guys say 'don't do sketches'. Well, guess what? The first time you audition for SNL or another sketch show they're like , "Bring in three characters and you wear costumes." Some guys say, 'Don't use props.' But look how far some of the comics can go with props. There are really no rules.


Two for One Special

AGR: What's the one thing you learned where you thought, "I wish someone would have told me that"?

Darren Carter: Try to write your jokes both clean and dirty. Don't only have the dirty version. Because when opportunities come up to get on TV or radio and they're like, "What do you got?" 'Well, I can't do that bit, or that bit...I have nothing.' You want to have two different versions.

AGR: Do you think you even need the dirty version?

Darren Carter: Dirty does get you the big laugh, but you don' want to rely on it. My dirty isn't that dirty. You don't want to do it so filthy that people are like, "Eww".

You can' tell when the crowd doesn't 'give it up' like they should because you crossed the line a little bit. It's good to get right out of it and let them trust you again. You don't want to get to a point where they don't trust you.

AGR: How do you build trust?

Darren Carter: Just be confident, likable.


Attitude of Gratitude

Darren Carter: No matter where you're at. Be in the moment and give it your all. Even it you're in some crappy gig in Idaho, or wherever. You have to have an "attitude of gratitude". Look at these country stars or rock stars who have long careers. They're out there at meet-n-greets , and they embrace the fans. Even when I'm going to do some crappy AM radio, I get up and take a shower and get pumped up. I'm like, "Yeah! I'm going to rock this show!" I never want to get to a point where I'm like, "F*ck this. This means nothing. Who's listening anyway?"


On Advice

Darren Carter: Don't always listen to other comics all the time. This advice they're giving you - some of it's good, but some of it you have to weed out. Find out what's pertinent to you.

Drew Hastings

Drew Hastings is a master story teller and an even better interview. His 18+ years of experience provided so much insight into the various stages a comic must go through to reach that final stage, which he described as simply, 'the truth'.

"Great comedy comes from pain," he said. "What you most don't want people to know about you - your biggest fear - is the kind of stuff you should be talking about on stage..."

The truth.

Did you know I'm afraid of public restrooms? Neither did the 300+ people at Friday's show... until I told them. The truth. Baby steps.


Drew Hastings

Side note: 70's porn star Seka was in the audience that night.


Crowds

The second show Friday night was a smaller crowd. Compared to the first show you really had to work for the laugh.

Drew: The smaller crowd is, the more it let's you deal with being 'you'.

AGR: Are there 'bad' crowds?

Drew: I think that's a very dangerous place to go to ever start blaming the crowds. If you do that, then it's very easy to look over your own shortcomings and what you're doing.

AGR: Even if the material killed in the first show?

Drew: It doesn't matter. It's only good material if it kills 99.99% of the time.

AGR: How do you judge if it's really working? If at the first show every joke is getting applause and at the second show, the same jokes are getting little 'ha ha ha's'? How do you judge the material?

Drew: If it's a small crowd and they're drunk, or it's a small crowd and they're tired from working or whatever, then 'ha ha ha' may be the equivalent of 'killing' in the first show.


Adaptation

We discussed how audiences have evolved over the years.

AGR: How have you changed your act over the years to adapt to audiences?

Drew: I've tried not to. Woody Allen once said, "Don't go looking for your audience. Do what you do and let your audience find you." It's a longer journey that way.



Evolution

There's a lineage to it. When you start out you just want to be funny. You want to go on stage and be funny. And then you go into another phase a year or two or three down the road and that might be the 'too hip for the room' or the 'intellectual' stage. You go through that and hopefully that's a passing stage and you get out of it because you realize that's kind of pretentious and that isn't what it's really supposed to be. And then you go through a phase where you're trying to play to the comics in the back of the room. And you get out of that because you realize there's no future or money in that. And then you go to a phase where you do what what you think how the audience perceives you and you try to live up to that. And that's wrong. And then you go through a phase where you act like what you think a stand-up should act like. In other words, you go on stage and you act like what you think a stand-up comedian in your skin should act like. And that's not right. The next phase you do you realize that ultimately you want to be yourself on stage - which is very much easier said than done. So then you act like what you think you're like on stage. But you're not being you. You're acting like what you think is being you. And that's not really quite it. And ultimately if you survive and you stick around long enough and you evolve through the grief, you become yourself on stage - tweaked, maybe exaggerated - but 'yourself' on stage. There are exceptions to that, but I think that's roughly the path.

AGR: If a comic knew that the ultimate goal is to just 'be yourself', could you skip those middle phases?

Drew: No. It's an evolution. Some people get it. Some people partially get it. Some people it takes 16, 18 years to get. Some people it takes 8.


Writing and Performance

AGR: What's more important? The words to be funny or the performance to be the funny part?

Drew: I want to say the words. I would tend to say the words but you have to have words along with the attitude, the performance, the look - everything. That's your way of 'italicizing' your personality, in a way.



Reaching out

AGR: If you could give one piece of advice to an up-and-coming comedian, what would it be?

Drew: Rick Reynolds said, "Only the truth is funny." Think about that. That makes a lot of sense. Comedy comes from pain. What you most don't want people to know about you - your biggest fear - is the kind of stuff you should be talking about on stage. It's hard to do. But once you can do that you can do anything.

Theo Von

You remember Theo Von from MTV's Road Rules and Real World/Road Rules Challenges. He has been in the comedy scene for about 4 years and has had some early successes including appearances on NBC's "Last Comic Standing" and on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.



I was opening for Theo and Drew Hastings at the Improv. Andrea stopped by the club before her show on the other side of town. Theo had just hurt his back and was layed-out on the couch waiting for the Vicadin to kick in. So we just lounged around the Green Room and talked about his comedy journey.



Theo had an interesting approach to comedy. It was more of a personal goal for him to just try it, reach a certain stage in his career, then move onto something else - leaving comedy behind. At one point in the interview I asked if it was possible to just walk away from comedy...




Getting Started


AGR: How did you get started in comedy?

Theo Von: It’s just something I wanted to do. I don’t watch that many comics. I don’t like getting their thoughts stuck in my head.

AGR: How has your persona as a reality star helped in comedy?

Theo Von: I feel like in some ways [Road Rules Season 9] helped out…so, there’s nothing I can do about that. I planned on being a comic before…at least trying it…it just happened in that order.

AGR: How different are you on stage than you are in person?

Theo Von: I think I’m a lot more talkative and fun on stage than I am in real life. It’s probably a personality I would be happier being.

AGR: What’s your aim on stage?

Theo Von: I think my whole goal in the beginning of comedy was I just want to sell the idea that I’m a likable guy. That’s one of the things people always told me. That’s my goal, to have people feel like we got to kind of hang out for a little while—“We had a good time with that guy!”


Make Me Laugh


AGR: How do you create a joke?

Theo Von: Just getting up on stage. After awhile you start to know when something will kind of work or when it won’t.

AGR: How do you know what to keep and what to discard?

Theo Von: One, of course, what they laugh at. And two, what you laugh at, I'm learning. You have to keep some of that, too. Even if they don't laugh.

AGR: You keep stuff even if it doesn't make the crowd laugh?

Theo Von: Right, otherwise it gets boring. Some of the stuff you say for them but the other stuff you have to say for you.


Phone a Friend


AGR: Do you write?

Theo Von: I don't really "write". I usually just put down things I think about before I go to bed or I'll write them down when I wake up in the morning. I leave myself messages on my phone all day - like three or four a day.

AGR: Ideas or full jokes with punchlines?

Theo Von: Just ideas.

AGR: How do you hash them out?

Theo Von: I usually just throw them in as maybe a one-liner to see how they even adapt to the idea. Half I keep and try.

AGR: How important is working clean?

Theo Von: I like to try to keep jokes clean, but…I try to not write any more [wiener] jokes if I can help it…but sometimes you have to do some because people laugh at ‘em.

AGR: What advice would you give to up-and-coming comics?

Theo Von: Do your own thing. How would you ever get to new levels if you didn’t do your own thing?

Advice from the Green Room

A couple of months ago I was working with comedian Robert Hawkins at the Kansas City Improv. After one of the shows he said, 'If you really want to make it big in comedy you have to get more personal with the material. Dig deep, no matter how painful the truth is. That's when the best material will come out. Then you will stand out as a comedian.'

Great advice. I think he's right. Any one can write an 'airline peanut' joke, but only I can write about my life, my experiences. "Life" is what people will relate to.

I am fortunate to work with some of the biggest names in comedy. I began to wonder what other advice these comedians could offer to up-and-coming comics like myself. So my friend, comedian Andrea Caspari, and I decided to interview these comics Gonzo-style before, during, between, and after shows asking them how they prepare, how they write, how they know what's funny and what's not funny, etc. My hope is that by reading these interviews you will find at least one piece of advice that will help take you to the next level.